Life is great!

It's been forever since I updated so I thought I'd take a minute to let you all in on what's going on in my world! Life is pretty great right now and I'm extremely happy with the way things are going for me!

--I'm getting into a major groove with working out. Me and my friend Allison are taking a walk weekly and I've been working out at home 3 days a week. I'm finding for the first time in my life that I'm actually enjoying it. I've never experienced the whole endorphin rush after working out before recently. (In fact I used to think it was a myth!) I worked out last night the hardest I have since highschool, and afterwards I was pumped and felt amazing. I could see how people can get addicted to it. I downloaded Fitness for Dummies and I'm going to do some research and try to set up a workout plan for me.... I'm approaching this with a completely different view point then in the past. My focus is no longer on dieting, which is I think why I have never stuck to any weight loss plan. My main focus on is getting fit and building muscle, and I'm just approaching my eating habits with just portion control and no more fast food, which is my main problem with food. My goal is to be 40 lbs lighter within the next 12 months.

--Work has improved drastically in the last month or so for a few reasons... number one I think is accepting the fact that I have to work and there is no way around that... for probably the last year I have resented coming into work because I would rather be home with my children... but I've come to the realization in the last month that that's just not in the cards for me at this moment... I like having money and being able to afford such a nice lifestyle, I would no longer have that if I quit my job. And while there may come a day where I can go part time somewhere, it's not going to be any time soon. So with that realization came a new appreciation for my job and what I do... There are always going to be things I don't like about my job, nothing will ever change that, but I've started putting more of a focus on what I can control and less of what I can't and my attitude has improved drastically, (and with it so has my performance.) With this new attitude has come the desire to actually work towards something instead of just sitting on the phones all day. My goal is to be promoted in the next 12 months.

--My kids are amazing as always, my sweet little Ella Bella isa chunker and has the fattest thighs, SO cute... she's smiling and laughing and generally enjoying being a little girl... though she can be frustrating at times since she's my little diva and refuses to sleep during the day for some reason. My sam is such a sweetheart and I absolutely love my little guy. He talks so well now, can count to 15 and sing his ABC's. He also knows about every song to every show he ever watches. He's very, very smart!
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--Things with AJ are the best they have ever been. I finally feel like we're getting back to ourselves after having kids. We've been going on dates lately and enjoying being with each other. I didn't realize how much I missed that connection until we got it back, and I don't ever plan on letting it slip again... we're trying to make time for a date once or twice a month from now on so we can have time for each other. He's amazing with all he does for me and the kids, and I appreciate him immensely.

All in all life is on the right track right now. I love love love how things are going and I'm going to do everythig I can to keep them on this track!

Freedoms are responsibilities...

"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility."
-Elanor Roosevelt



I don't usually post about the happenings in the world... but I spent most of the day yesterday watching 9/11 footage and reading about the violence going on in the Middle East... It reminded me of something an old high school teacher used to say, and the wording is probably off, but it is something that has stuck with me... "Freedoms are responsibilities, so use them wisely." I don't know if I really understood in High School what that meant... but I find the older I am the more I understand the meaning behind his words... Our freedoms are precious, and what I don't think we realize after having them for the last 236 years, is that they can always be taken away... they are a luxury that few other countries get to enjoy. In fact 9/11 is a prime example of nearly 3,000 people being stripped of their freedom, and countless others that are still not free from that day. We need to be responsible with the things we are blessed enough to have, and use them wisely instead of constantly and relentlessly abusing the privilege that our forefathers gave us.

The Week From Hell

It all started Friday night, AJ and I decided to take the kids out to the mall so we could look for cases for our new phones. We were gone for about 2 hours, and came home to a flood in our kitchen, apparently the water line that goes to the dishwasher burst and flooded our kitchen and basement. (Luckily we have vents in the kitchen so it could drain in the basement or it would have been worse.) We are now looking at replacing our kitchen floors since water got under the vinyl flooring. Some cabinets probably should be replaced too.

Then on Sunday my glasses broke. Thankfully I was able to tape them back together in the interim until I have a chance to get to the Dr and order a new pair.

Sunday afternoon we lost our lawnmower. Luckily we were able to get another one. \

Then today happened... Sam decided to fall into a side table and smack his head on a hinge or something and split his head open... thus we had our first hospital trip since Sam was born.

 I knew it was only a matter of time, he is my son after all. So a trip to the ER later and he has two staples in his head and I'm sure what will be a nice scar back there. I handled it a lot better then I thought I would. He had some pretty spectacular bleeding at first, but luckily it wasn't too bad and he didn't end up with a concussion, the staples will stay in for ent days, then we get to make the trip to take them out... I am so proud of him, I can't believe how well he did at the hospital. He didn't cry when the numbed his head with a shot, or when the put the staples in. I couldn't believe how calm he was. That's the AJ in him.

It's been a pretty rough week so far, but I have a few things to be grateful for: first that the line to the dishwasher didn't burst while we were at work, it would've gone on for much much longer, and the fact that it could drain through the vents into the basement where there is an actual drain for water, instead of going down the stairs into our living room where we just put new floors. Secondly that my glasses broke in a place that they could be temporarily repaired as long as I need them. Third that we were able to get a new lawn mower. And most importantly that Sam wasn't hurt worse then he was. He didn't get a concussion or black out or anything like that. Just a good gash and a few staples. It could have been much worse and I am thankful that it wasn't.

Even with all that though, here's hoping that the week starts looking up again.

Time flies!

Sometimes life goes by way too fast! Friday it's back to work for this girl. I'm a little sad, a little excited too. I've loved being home with the kids these last 2 months... but being a full time stay at home mom is not for me. I don't particularly like to work, but I do feel like working makes me a better mother... It gives me a chance to miss my children and appreciate all the things they do all the more. Don't get me wrong, I love being home with my kids, I really do. But being home full time there are more of those moments where I feel like I am going to rip my hair out because I haven't gotten a solitary second to myself in days. I'd really like to work part time, enough to help with the bills, enough to get adult interaction and some time for myself, but not so much that I feel like I'm not raising my kids myself. The beauty of the early shift at my work is that I get to spend much much more time with them then if I was working a 9-5 shift. So while I can't go part time just yet, I can at least spend as much time with my kids as possible.

In other news, my sweet little boy turned two a few weeks ago... I can't believe he's already been here for two years! He's so big and doing so many new things, he can count to 5, sometimes higher if I can get him to sit still and concentrate. He knows most of his colors, and he knows his name, and can tell you how old he is. He talks SO much, I can't believe I can have a conversation with my two year old! He also LOVES to sing, and constantly sings songs from the shows he likes most. He also can sort of sing the "it's raining, it's pouring" song, and the "itsy bitsy spider" also, "old McDonald had a farm." And sometimes he just says something and it blows me away, it's like where did he learn that from?? He's still my wonderful little man and even though he's got some moments where he's difficult, I couldn't ask for a better behaved child.

Ella is two months tomorrow, and smiling away, she can be a pretty big ham and if she's awake will smile at anyone who talks to her... the older she gets the prettier she is too, she has her Daddy's dark eyelashes, and I think her eyes will be green even though they are blue right now. She's also cooing all the time and talking, in fact I call her my Complainy Janie because she isn't shy about letting us know when she's mad... She kicks her legs around and looks at everything too, she loves her mobile and the fan and anything that moves in front of her she will lock on to. She even watches the TV sometimes, lol. We have a dr's appointment on Thursday, and I can't wait to see how big she is going to be! She's much chunkier than Sam was!

Life is pretty amazing right now, I love my kids, and AJ is such an amazing husband and father, he's been so great with me and the kids. He even let me get a new car so it's easier to get the kids in and out of, even though he was supposed to get a new car next. He always does everything he can to make me and the kids happy... I couldn't ask for a better husband. There are so many great things about him I could sing his praises all day and night. All in all I have a very blessed life and thank God for it every day.

Sadness...

One of the surprising things about being a Mother is the way things in the world affect you. It completely changes your way of thinking about things. Recently Colorado has been the victim of so many tragedies, a wildfire that burned down almost 350 homes and killed two people, leaving my beautiful city covered in ash and a mountainside left with nothing but the black stumps of what were once trees, and a shooting that left 71 people either killed or wounded...

A part of me wants to hide away in my house with my babies so that I can always make sure they are safe. But I know that's not possible or healthy and I know that I won't always be there to protect them. Now that I have children of my own tragedies like these hit me much harder then before. I think about all those people who were there that day, I think about their Mother's and what they are feeling right now... I think about their children and how they are affected... I think about how those people who survived are going to be functioning... It is much easier to put myself in their shoes and feel their sadness, their anger, their fear.

I know that I won't always be there to protect my children... but while I am able I will always do whatever I can to protect them, while making sure they can also experience the world. It's a fine line parent's have to walk... to make sure they are safe but also not holding them back from growing. Being a parent is just not easy sometimes. .

My thoughts, prayers, and love go out to all who have been affected by these recent tragedies...

Having so much fun!

Life moves way way too fast! Little miss is already 6 1/2 weeks old, Sam is almost 2...It amazes me how fast it goes. I'm going to have to go back to work sometime in the next few weeks. :-( I wish that life were different and I could sit at home and cuddle my babies all day. I love being home with them, I have found time to be crafty and actually make my bed every day, lol. Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy, especially when I have two crying kids to deal with, but in the end it's all worth it... hopefully someday I can stay home with the kids and work part time instead. In the mean time I will make the best of the time I have. 

Sam has grown so much in the last year, and he's so wonderful. He's such a sweet little boy, he hugs me constantly and has started saying: "I love you" it melts my heart so much when he does that. I love it, and he's so smart... and I don't say that just cause I'm his mommy, he really has a great vocabulary and talks SO much, I can't believe half the stuff he says, and of course he has to repeat everything that I say as well (especially the things I wish he wouldn't pick up on.) My favorite is when he says: "Oh coconuts" or: "Oh toodles!" (Obviously we watch a lot of Disney Junior.) He also says: "that's disgusting," lol.

Ella is getting so big now,  I look at her and just think, are you really only 6 weeks old? She's so sweet and smiles so big for us... her first real smile was for Sam, which is awesome. I just know they are going to love each other so much. Sam already hugs and cuddles her any chance he gets. He loves to help me with her too. 

I really can't remember what life was like without them. I was happy, obviously, and had a lot more free time, but it just seems so dull in comparison when I think back, like there wasn't nearly as much sunshine in the world. Being a Mom is the best thing I've ever done with my life, these two beautiful kids are my greatest accomplishments, and I can't wait to see what they do in their lives...

3 weeks old

Ella is 3 weeks old as of Friday, I can't believe that much time has gone by already! It's kind of a surreal feeling, it feels like just yesterday that I was giant and pregnant and then going through labor... but at the same time, it feels like Ella has always been in our lives. That's the thing about having kids, once they are born you can barely remember life without them.

Things have been going pretty smoothly since she was born. Thankfully my recovery has been minimal, in fact I have felt 100% since a few days after she was born. This has been amazing compared to Sam's birth where it was a few weeks before I was back to feeling semi-decent. It's made things very easy on me when it comes to Sam.

Ella so far is doing great, she eats very well and breastfeeding is actually working out pretty well for us. Granted I don't breastfeed all the time, but that was more my choice then anything since she will have to be weaned in a few weeks when I go back to work and it is nice sometimes to be able to hand her off to someone else to feed. She's pretty great and looks at everything and is really good at focusing on faces and she lifts her head really well for a 3 week old. I am actually thinking about moving her into her own room already. We were going to wait till she was older, but I'm thinking it will be easier with her in her own room. Sam hasn't woken up ever due to her crying (even when we're in her room, since I take her in there in the middle of the night sometimes so we don't wake AJ,) and I'm thinking that it will be easier on me if she's in her own room. It won't be as tempting to just put her in bed with us. As easy as it is just to put her in the bed with us, it makes me so nervous and I can't sleep properly. I wake up extremely stiff and usually with a headache. I moved Sam to his room at 5 weeks old, so that may be when we make the move. Surprisingly I'm enjoying all the little girl stuff and putting her in cute outfits with bows and everything. It's been pretty fun so far, just as fun as it is to dress Sam in his cute little outfits. 

Sam has been great with her so far. He calls her: "my baby" when we talk about her and is constantly loving on her and hugging her. I love watching him with her and I'm so very happy that all my anxiety was for nothing. He hasn't been jealous or acting out or anything like that, which is what I was worried about originally. He's been pretty great actually besides the occasional tantrum, but that's just his 2 year old self, lol.

I'm really not looking forward to going back to work in the next little while, but I know that I have to. I'll just miss my babies. I'm worried about the shift bid coming up too and concerned I'll have to work a night shift. AJ and I have talked about it and agreed that we will do what we have to to make it work. We'll just have to see what happens.

Other than that, life has been amazing, I love my little girl and my big boy.

Introducing Miss Gabriella Jane

So I promised my birth story and this is the first chance I've really had to get to it. Things have been a little hectic around here these first few days, but anyway, here goes:

Thursday May 31st, I had my 39 week Dr's appointment, Dr. Skiles checked me and said I was 50% effaced and almost 3 centimeters dilated. So she said she could strip my membranes which will help move things along... (Stripping membranes is basically separating the baby/amniotic sac from the cervix.) I left the appointment with cramps and some minor contractions which stopped when I got home. We had a regular night, then went to bed, I woke up at 4 that morning having some minor contractions, but basically the same type of contractions I had been having pretty much every day for the last week. I thought about going into work, but decided against it since those contractions are slightly painful and very annoying and hard to breathe through.

I told AJ at about 7:30 that I was having regular contractions that were increasing in frequency and a little painful but they weren't too bad and he decided to stay home. Then we called up AJ's Mom and she brought the girls we all went to the mall and walked for about 2 hours. During the 2 hours, I could feel the contractions but they weren't really painful yet. AJ told me though that they helped because he could visibly see that I had dropped about 4 inches from when we started. After that we went home and I sat on the couch Buddha style to make sure Ella stayed down low. My contractions seemed to go away at first. But then they finally came back, a little stronger but still not too painful and they weren't very regular... then at about 4:00 I was just getting fed up and frustrated, so I told AJ that we would be going to the hospital in an hour whether things had changed or not. As soon as I said that my contractions evened out and started coming in five minute intervals, a little painful but nothing I couldn't function through. On the drive there though we were almost to the hospital when I felt the contractions really take off and change.

We walked into the birthing unit and got checked in and the nurse checked me, she said I was 3 1/2 cm dilated and that she was pretty sure they would be keeping me, but they usually won't admit til 4 cm, so they had me go walking. I hated them at that point because then I remember what true labor actually feels like, I can't believe I forgot that pain, but it is horrible. As soon as we started walking my contractions got 2 minutes apart... We walked for about 25 minutes, and that was all I could take. We went back to the room and waited for what felt like forever for the nurse to come back at check me... at 7 they finally checked me and I was 4 1/2 cm dilated. So they started the admit process. Which involves even MORE waiting. I was pretty grumpy by this point I was in so much pain. I'm sure they didn't appreciate me cussing up a storm there... I finally found a way to cope with it so I wouldn't have to cuss, but if they had taken any longer they would've heard it from me. Finally we got the IV in and they wheeled me to the delivery room. Once there the Anesthesiologist got me started on my epidural within like 5 minutes... While he was putting it in, I wanted to punch him for taking so damn long, but by the time it took effect I could have kissed him... (really I don't know how women go through natural labor... I really, really don't.)

After getting my epidural the Dr came in and checked me and said I was at 7 cm, but Ella needed to come down some more. So she broke my water and the fluid was clear (yay!) and then said to let them know when I started feeling pressure. This was at probably 8:00 pm. We sat around talking for a while, and I started feeling some pressure, but it wasn't too bad yet, so I didn't say anything. I felt about 100 times better after the epidural just was itching like crazy from the pain meds. At about 9:00 I told the nurse that I was feeling a lot of pressure and so they checked and said I was almost to 10 but they would check again in about 15 minutes. At 9:30 the Dr came in and I told her there was a TON of pressure and I felt like my catheter was coming out. So she checked and said we are ready to push! They broke down the bed in about 5 minutes and the nursery was there, then they wanted me to start pushing, I felt a contraction and pushed and that one push was really all it took, Ella's head came out pretty much immediately and then I had another half push and the rest of her was out too. She was born in about 30 seconds of pushing. They laid her on my tummy and I was able to say hi and love on her for a minute then they took her to the nursery bed and cleaned her and me up. Ella was 8lbs even and 20 inches long, her head was 13 1/2 inches around.

It was so different from last time, I didn't feel tired (even though I had been awake since 4 am) I was awake and happy and totally energized. I only had a minor tear that they stitched up but nothing like last time. I also got to meet my little lady right away and snuggle with her immediately and after she was born we all got to love on her for a while before AJ was able to take her to the nursery and give her the first bath and do all the fun daddy things. I don't look like I was hit by a train either like with Sam and I was able to get up and get moving as soon as my epidural wore off, I didn't feel bad at all. It was pretty great actually.


All in all this was a much better experience compared to when I had Sam, but then Sam paved the way for his little sister so if it weren't for him I'm sure it wouldn't have been this easy with her.

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Now that we are home things are going okay. She got a little jaundiced and is on photo therapy right now, hopefully today is the last day of this. She is already a better sleeper then Sam ever was and sleeps at night for 4-5 hour stretches at a time. I'm hoping she will continue this pattern. We are still working on Breastfeeding, but I don't think I'm going to do it for very long, only because I'll be going back to work in two months. The best part about it is that I don't have the postpartum anxiety like I did when I had Sam. Of course I am still very watchful of her but with Sam I was very anxious all the time because of the oxygen and all that, not to mention I had a long recovery myself. I find I am enjoying myself about 100 times more with her and I am much more relaxed about everything.  Sam isn't sure what to think about his sister and ignores her about 90% of the time. Sometimes he will interact with her, but thankfully he is not jealous or crazy or throwing fits or anything (at least not more than a normal 2 year old.) We are just settling in now and enjoying ourselves!

Prodromal Labor

So, I've spent most of the morning googling trying to figure out what is going on with me and why my labor keeps stalling out. From what I've gathered, I'm experiencing something called Prodromal labor, which is not the same thing as Braxton Hicks contractions, nor is it considered false labor. Everything I've seen says that prodromal labor is a very early stage of labor. Contractions are typically 5-10 minutes apart and may or may not hurt. (If they do hurt they don't get progressively stronger like actual labor contractions.) That it can last for hours, or even days before active labor. Good news is that there is usually some sort of progression, but at a slower pace than actual labor. All the sites I went to said that this kind of labor can be caused by baby's position in the pelvis, and that a lot of the time it is the body's way of trying to re-position the baby better in the pelvis for actual labor. (So like how Sam was sunny side up and I had terrible back labor, trying to move the baby to a different position to avoid that... I'm kind of thinking she might be in a similar position Sam was in because when I've had contractions they have hurt in my back like they did with Sam.) Unfortunately this kind of labor also exhausts the mother and the uterus so that when actual labor comes around it makes it a more difficult experience....

I did find some tips on how to deal with it, so I have a plan in place for tonight so I can get some sleep and go to work in the morning. Hopefully it will help these contractions either stay away or I'll be relaxed enough that true labor will happen. They say that the key is to not focus on the contractions... which I'll admit I have focused way too much on them the last few nights hoping that I was actually in labor. It's funny cause I didn't time Sam's contractions at all, I just went to the hospital. So I'm thinking maybe part of it is that I'm obsessing about it. Another thing they suggested is to take a sleep aid, like Tylenol PM, if it's true labor I won't be able to sleep through it even with Tylenol PM, if it's not then I should be able to sleep through them. And right now, getting a good nights sleep is like the top on my list of necessities. So here's hoping I can actually sleep tonight!

38 weeks...

How far along?: 38 Weeks 
How big is baby?: 19.75 Inches, 6.8 lbs (though it is my feeling that she is more like 20+ inches and 8+ lbs right now... I say this because her movements actually hurt now. And I can feel her feet up in my ribs at the same time I feel her head in my crotch... not very comfortable.) 
Food cravings?: not really craving any food right now. 
What I'm looking forward to: Being done being pregnant, getting to meet this little girl finally. 
Milestone: Not really much milestones happening anymore. She's all developed and ready to come out. 
Sleep?: Ha ha ha, what sleep? 
Best moment this week?: Hearing at my Dr's appointment that I am 2 cm dilated already. 
Feelings this week?: Frustration like I have never felt before. I look back at my blog entries with Sam and how frustrated I was about the whole thing, but that is NOTHING compared to this time. I thank God that I'm done having babies. Don't get me wrong, I love the whole pregnancy experience, except for the second and last months. With Sam I had to deal with some braxton hicks contractions and not dilating until the last minute. Contractions were a good 15 minutes apart though with no pain. With this little girl, I know I am dilated to 2 already, and for the last 3 nights I have been up anywhere from 2-5 hours with consistent contractions happening every 3-5 minutes and painful enough that I can't sleep through them. I really thought last night was it, since they were getting progressively closer together... but then it's like it bottomed out at 3 minutes in between and stuck there with no change for an hour until 5 when it decided it was time to stop. You know I wouldn't mind being pregnant for the next 2 weeks until my due date, but this is so frustrating I just can't handle it. I had a mini breakdown this morning when they stopped again. It's very emotionally draining to sit there thinking that this might be time, only for it NOT to be time. (At 5 am after I had been up since 1 am.) The most frustrating thing about this, is there's really nothing I can do. We've tried all the wives tales about what's supposed to induce labor from home, hasn't worked really. The Dr stripped my membranes, that didn't do anything. (OR I don't know, maybe that is the cause of all this false labor crap.) I just need one of two things to happen here: One: my obvious preference would be to go into labor officially and have Ella like today... or Two: This false labor needs to stop so I can continue working until she is born and if that means I have to be pregnant for another 2 weeks, whatever, I would much rather stay pregnant then have to deal with these nightly incursions into my sleep. 

Dr. Appointment and Nursery!

Had my Dr's appointment today. Good news is the contractions I've been having the last week are actually doing something, I'm dilated to 2 cm already. Makes me happy since when I was pregnant with Sam I was barely 1 cm when I went into labor. My Dr also stripped my membranes, so I could go into labor at any time now. Of course I know that stripping the membranes and having contractions and even being dilated doesn't mean that I'll go into labor anytime soon. But at least I feel like something is happening. I'm really hoping it will happen in the next few days. We'll see of course, but cross your fingers for us!

We also finally finished the nursery! Sorry it has taken so long, but with Sam running around, it just isn't as easy to get this kind of stuff done as it is when it's just the two of you. Here are the pictures!

37 weeks and counting.

How far along?: 37 Weeks
How big is baby?: 19.25 Inches, 6.3 lbs
Food cravings?: cereal, dr pepper
What I'm looking forward to: Meeting my little girl.
Milestone: We are officially full term right now. So we are good to go anytime she decides to make an appearance.
Sleep?: Not good. I didn't have trouble sleeping with Sam really, but I am having a really hard time sleeping right now. My pelvis aches and I have round ligament pain time every time I move, I have to pee all the time and my hips feel like they are coming apart!
Best moment this week?: Really not much happening this week. Sam is talking a lot more now and I love to try and have conversations with him. His vocabulary just amazes me sometimes. We have started a new game, whenever I pick him up for the day on the drive home we work on his words. I will say a word and have him repeat it. He does a pretty good job too!
Feelings this week?: Lately I have this fantasy that I will stand up and my water will break and it will be go time, pretty much every time I stand up this goes through my mind. As anyone who knows me knows, I am so done being pregnant... this is the worst part of pregnancy, these last few weeks... I'm ready to have my body back and feel like a normal human being again. I know having two babies isn't going to be a picnic, and it will be hard at first. But I'm ready to start on this new adventure... (And I'm also ready to get over being in so much pain all the time too.) We've started the whole braxton hicks contractions let me fool you into thinking we're going into labor then not be thing... but at least this time around I know better than to think I'm in labor... When they tell me to call if I've had more than 4 contractions in an hour, I just laugh. I typically have between 2 and 6 in a hour regularly. But they don't hurt and my water hasn't broken or anything so I know I'm not in labor yet... no need to get myself all hyped up for nothing. At least it will be easier this time around knowing what real labor feels like versus false labor.

36 weeks

How far along?: 36 Weeks
How big is baby?: 18.75 inches, 5.75 lbs
Food cravings?: Nothing in particular
What I'm looking forward to: I'm looking forward to having her already. I love the little booger, but she is really hurting my pelvis right now, my hips and back are killing me too... I'm actually pretty positive she dropped. 
Milestone: We're just gaining weight at this point. 
Best moment this week?: I had a wonderful birthday! 
Feelings this week?: Tired... I'm ready to have her. I wasn't even close to being this achy when I was pregnant with Sam. I'm hoping that she makes her appearance in the next week or two at the latest... If not I at least hope I get some good news at my next dr appointment. 

The real countdown has begun! Only 30 days left!

We are 30 days out from my due date! Yes ladies and gentlemen, 30 days. We have been prepping like crazy for the arrival of this little one all the last few weeks. We got all the clothes washed, all the carpets cleaned and vacuumed, some last minute things for her room. Bags are packed and in the car, we are ready. Now is just going to be the waiting game, probably the frustration of constant braxton hicks contractions and pelvic pain and the not knowing when this baby will be born. I'm hoping she comes early and I feel like she will come in May, but we will find out when the day comes. (Must be so easy for those of you who get to be induced since you know when Baby is coming!)

I've been freaking out a little bit about what we're going to do with two babies, I'm worried that Sam will be sad or frustrated when I can't get up and do everything he needs right away because I'm feeding Ella... I'm thankful that AJ will be home for that first week so he can help me with Sam while I handle Ella (or vice versa.) I try and at least talk to Sam about it every day, how there's going to be a little sister soon. He kind of understands, he knows that Ella is in my tummy at least, lol.

My next Dr's appointment isn't till I'm 37.5 weeks. I was a little concerned that it was so far out, but they couldn't reschedule it. My Dr is going to be on vacation my regular office visit week and they are completely booked that week so they couldn't get me in with someone else. I'm mostly concerned that they haven't ran the group b strep test, but when I called and asked about what if I go into labor before that appointment, they told me that if I do go into labor, let the L&D triage department know I haven't been tested and they will run the test right then. If my water has broken they may just give me antibiotics right away in case I do have it until they get the test results. I don't think I will go that early though. So I'm not too worried, plus I'm hoping that since I will be farther along that there will be some good news at my appointment about dilation, etc.

We'll have to see, it's all a bunch of waiting now!

35 Weeks--only 35 days left!

How far along?: 35 Weeks
How big is baby?: 18 inches, 5.25 lbs
Food cravings?: Chocolate milk---but it has to be the kind that I make, store bought chocolate milk has waaay too much chocolate in it! I like just enough to make it sweet. 
What I'm looking forward to: At this point, I'm just looking forward to having her! We're in the home stretch and this is the part where it's super uncomfortable. 'I'll probably give it one more week, and then we'll start walking and doing other stuff to try and induce labor, eating spicy food and such. (If the weather keeps up it is super nice outside anyway!) I had Sam a week early, but I have a feeling Ella is going to be my May baby. Maybe even a memorial day baby... AJ is sticking with June 7th, but I'm praying that he's wrong this time. I thought I was uncomfortable with Sam at the end, but I'm way more uncomfortable this time, I feel the braxton hicks contractions a ton more, and all the uncomfortableness that didn't come until the very end with Sam has hit me already! 
Milestone: All of Ella's major organs are nearly complete; her kidneys are completely developed and her liver is functional. 
Best moment this week?: The baby shower! I got so many lovely things for her and a lot of the necessities too!!  
Feelings this week?: I feel like a blimp this week. I had forgotten that this is the point where you start to feel huge and everything starts to swell and you are just super uncomfortable. I had to shave my legs last night (thanks Aunt Vicki! (-:) and I had the HARDEST time doing it. Luckily I was able to get it done, but I'll probably have to have AJ help next time, ha ha. 


I packed most of the stuff in my hospital bag, just gotta get some last minute items... I ordered a set of maternity PJ's for the hospital that I should get in the next few days, got all my toiletries packed (I remembered shampoo and conditioner this time!) We also got Ella's bag all packed and ready to go, and Sam's too. 


Other than that not much else going on, just enjoying our time in the sun! 

34 weeks (almost)

How far along?: Almost 34 Weeks
How big is baby?: 17.75 Inches, 4.75 lbs
Food cravings?: Still peanut butter a lot. But it's giving me heartburn a lot too, so not as much as I used to want it. Right now I'm having a weird craving for the smell of wet dirt, kind of like the smell right after it rains. I never had weird cravings with Sam. No, I don't want to eat dirt or anything like that so don't think I'm super weird, just when the sprinklers come on in the garden or when I'm watering the flowers outside, that smell is just wonderful to me. I've always loved the smell, but I find myself going out and watering the flowers more often just so I can smell that. Apparently it's common in pregnancy (especially the dirt thing) and more common in those with an iron deficiency, which I have. Could be worse, at least I'm not like those other pregnant people that like the smell of white-out or markers, smelling wet dirt isn't going to harm me or Ella. 
What I'm looking forward to: Baby shower is this Sunday!! I'm so excited, getting things ready for that right now, I'm starting to think about pulling up stuff from the basement and getting things set up for her... Only sixish more weeks till my due date. 
Milestone: Not much going on still. She's maturing her lungs and just getting fat for delivery day. (Though we're going to hope not too fat and that she doesn't have her Daddy or Brother's fat head, that was hard enough on me with Sam, ha ha.) 
Best moment this week?: Playing outside with Sam. He is my little outdoors man! He's already getting a tan.  
Feelings this week?: This week has been better than last in terms of work. It is overwhelming sometimes when you have a billion things to focus on and your next shift depends on the way you manage those things. I am trying to focus on one thing at a time right now and hoping that everything else falls into place along the way. I really only have this month and next month to get things straightened out before I go on leave so it is hard not to stress about that since these last months are going to count as more than one month. The center is hopefully going to start opening even earlier than it was so as much as I don't want to have to wake up and work at 3am, if that's what's available, that's what I'll do. Same thing about working nights, as much as I don't want to have to do it, if I have to do it, I will. I'm not giving up on the hope that I can get a decent shift when bid times come around, I am just mentally preparing myself for the possibility of not getting the shift I want, and hoping my daycare situation isn't affected too much by it. 


As much as work stresses me out, I am happy that I have a job and a well paying one at that. I'm happy that I get to spend as much time with my family as I do. It could be much worse, which is why going back to days isn't something that I want to do, either nights or early mornings is better for all of us in the long run. (Though I really wish I could work like 8am to 2pm, that'd be pretty sweet.) 


Other than work stresses, things are going great at home. Sam is just wonderful, he's so smart and picks up on things so quickly. I can't believe how much he knows now. He's also a monkey and can climb up the big slide in the backyard, so we have to watch him like a hawk when he's out there. He loves spending time outside and can sit in the sandbox for at least an hour playing in the dirt.... all in all home life is pretty amazing! 

32 Weeks

How far along?: 32 Weeks
How big is baby?: 16.7 Inches, 3.75 lbs!!
Food cravings?: Peanut butter, we have literally gone through a double jar of peanut butter in 3 weeks. That's how much of it I am eating!
What I'm looking forward to: My baby shower is coming up soon, only a few more weeks!
Milestone: Pretty much from now till she's born it's mostly fattening up! She's starting to lose the fur that's covering her whole body. 
Sleep?: Well in between bathroom trips I'm sleeping pretty good. I've almost been late to work a few days this week cause I'm so knocked out. 
Best moment this week?: This has been a rough week to say the least. My Facebook post reflect how stressful it was. The best part of this last week was putting up Sam's swing set and watching him play on it for the first time... He's getting so big now, I can't believe that he's going to be two soon!! It's crazy. 
Feelings this week?: My son is so smart. He is at this wonderful stage right now where he is my little parrot. (Which mean's I really have to watch what I say, lol.) If I ask him to say a word, he will try pretty much any word I give him. He is starting to say a lot of animal sounds, and we have a lot of first word books, he can recognize about 90% of the pictures in those books. He's also a little smarty pants too and his favorite phrase right now is: "I don't want to," he likes to say this pretty much to anything we ask of him. 


I am also feeling very pregnant lately too. Kind of apprehensive about the fact that we are only a few weeks out from delivery. (I'll technically be full term in only a month.) I'm also a lot more emotional with her than when I was pregnant with Sam. She's got me crying at the drop of a hat. I don't remember being weepy with Sam... I know I was quick to get mad, but I was never weepy. 


Other than that, just a stressful week all around. Mostly with work, but it's going to be my weekend soon so I'll get to breathe a sigh of relief when that day comes around, lol. 

31 Weeks

How far along?: 31Weeks
How big is baby?: 16.25 Inches, 3.3 lbs!!
Food cravings?: Ice Cream Sandwhiches
What I'm looking forward to: Putting the finishing touches on Ella's Room, my baby shower is coming up soon!
Milestone: Pretty much from now till she's born it's mostly fattening up!
Sleep?: Well in between bathroom trips I'm sleeping pretty good. Though I am still extremely tired all the time.
Best moment this week?: Yesterday was a pretty good day, watching my boys play outside the kitchen window while I cooked, love them so much. That and sitting in AJ's lap last night while we watched TV that was nice too... basically just being together with my beautiful family makes me really happy!
Feelings this week?: A few things I've realized this week:

#1 I am more scared of the delivery this time than I was with Sam. I think this is partly due to the fact that I was in SO MUCH pain, and it really hasn't been long enough since Sam was born for me to forget what that pain felt like. But mainly it is because I had to experience the terror of something being wrong with my baby and not being able to do anything about it, not being able to see him or hear about how he was doing for hours after he was born. I had a dream the other night that Ella was born and they kept me from her and it brought back all those terrible emotions, and the anxiety of it all. I am terrified of that happening again, the more I think about Sam's birth the more thankful I am that AJ was there with him the whole time, I honestly don't think I realized how scared I was about Sam until we had come home from the hospital. It's like I couldn't let myself feel it or it would've been too much for me to handle after giving birth. (I was also drugged up so that could have been part of it.) I'm just praying that everything goes right this time, but I am definitly more scared and nervous about it this time.

#2 I am anxious about having a second baby when my first is so young. I am confident that it will be fine and we will all get used to one another, but I am nervous about how Sam is going to do. I remember when I was pregnant with sam how anxious I was to have him and with this one, I am not even close to ready to have her yet!

29 weeks + some 3D pictures

How far along?: 29 Weeks, 4 days
How big is baby?: 15.25 inches, 2.5 lbs
Food cravings?: Oatmeal raisen cookies.
What I'm looking forward to: Finishing Ella's room, 3D ultrasound
Milestone: Ella can hear outside the womb now, sense light changes, and her brain and lungs are continuing to develop nicely.
Sleep?: Well in between bathroom trips I'm sleeping pretty good. Though I am still extremely tired all the time.
Best moment this week?: Getting to see Ella's pretty face on the ultrasound. My hubby finished the floors in our living room, love it so much. I couldn't stand the carpets in there before, so it is really nice to have good floors in there. Also Sam was sitting on my lap the other day and poking me in the belly button, (he's obsessed with that right now.) Then he smacked my tummy and Ella kicked him back, it was cute.
Feelings this week?: I know I haven't updated the blog in a few weeks. To be honest I just haven't had the energy to. I've been really, really tired the last few weeks. I sleep really hard but wake up tired still. It seems like no matter how much sleep I'm getting it's not enough. I had my Dr's appointment last Wednesday and I'm moving right along, Ella's heartbeat was 138 BPM, and I'm measuring right on, I also gained some weight finally which is good too. I had my Glucose test and passed that (yay!) but they did find out I'm anemic, which I think explains a little bit about why I'm so tired lately. I'm taking iron pills so hopefully my energy will pick up a little soon.

We had the 3D ultrasound today, I found out that I have an anterior placenta (which means the placenta is on the front of my uterus instead of the back,) so we weren't able to get good enough pictures since I wasn't hydrated enough, I got a few good ones, it looks like she's got some chubby cheeks. We're going back next Wednesday and I have to drink a lot of water for a few days before we go. So hopefully the pictures will be clearer.

25 weeks

How far along?: 25 Weeks, 15 weeks left!
How big is baby?: 13.5 Inches, 1.5 lbs
Food cravings?: Cinnamon pop tarts, ice cream. Apple pies from McDonalds.
What I'm looking forward to: Spring! It's starting to get a little warmer and the sun is going down a little later.
Milestone: Ella is fattening up and her limbs are getting a little more proportional.
Sleep?: Depends on how much my back hurts.
Best moment this week?: It was a pretty uneventful week, I'm just having fun cuddling with my Sam.
Feelings this week?: Really not much happened this last week. Sam has been great and he's speaking a TON now... I'm just waiting for him to repeat a work he shouldn't say... he's my little parrot right now. We also got new floor for our living room (HALLELUJAH!) I have hated the carpet in there for years but we're able to replace it now with laminate hardwoods, should be done in a few weeks. I'm really excited about this! AJ also got me a new faucet and garbage disposal since ours hasn't been working.... still haven't started the nursery, but we'll get to it soon I hope!

24 Weeks

How far along?: 24 weeks!

How big is baby?: 12.5 inches, 1.25 lbs.

Food cravings?: Apple Pies from McDonalds!

What I'm looking forward to: The 3-D ultrasound! (Which I really need to schedule, lol.)
Milestone: Baby is basically at the point now where the rest of this pregnancy she is going to just continue fattening up and developing her systems.

Sleep?: Sort of. I'm struggling with having to pee in the middle of the night (like every 2 hours) and when I have to wake up a 3:45 am to get up for work it's kind of frustrating, but I'm making it work.

Best moment this week?: Getting our new puppy Gizmo and watching Sam play with him and love on him, it's too cute!

Feelings this week?: This week has been pretty good. We got our new puppy and it was one of the best decisions I've made in a while, Sam absolutely loves him, and I didn't realize this, but I'm hoping it will help me for when Ella comes along since I'm having to teach Sam about how to be gentle with the puppy. He's not understanding yet that Gizmo isn't a stuffed animal, so that poor puppy has sustained his fair amount of little kicks and smacks so far. I'm also seeing a little bit of jealousy from Sam too, sometimes when I'm holding Gizmo, Sam will come up and love on me and try to push the puppy out of my lap.  I'm hoping we can curb that before Ella comes along. I didn't realize he would be jealous... I wish I could take him around a newborn to see how he acts... Whatever happens I know it's going to be a rough few weeks of adjustment once she's here!

Sam is also maturing so fast! We put him into his new bed and at first I was having to spend 45 minutes to rock him to sleep. Now we read a few books and he doesn't want me to rock him anymore. We read our books, but as soon as the lights go out where I usually rock and sing to him, he says: "bed" at first I was thinking that I would put him in bed and he'd get out of the bed and start playing as soon as I shut the door.. nope, he went right to sleep. The last 3 nights he's done this. It just surprises me how well he's adjusted to being in the big boy bed!

23 weeks

How far along?: 23 Weeks

How big is baby?: 11.5 in 1.1 lbs
Food cravings?: Not really anything in particular right now. Maybe ice cream, and I am thirsty a lot. I'm also eating like a 15 year old boy right now with how hungry I am.
What I'm looking forward to: Dr's appointment on Wednesday, those are always nice.
Milestone: This milestone makes me breathe a teeny tiny sigh of relief. Ella is far enough along in her development that she could have a chance at survival outside the womb. Basically all of her organs are developed and functioning, we now just need the next 17 weeks for those systems to mature.
Sleep?: Doing okay, just thave to pee all the time.
Best moment this week?: This week has been pretty lazy, not a lot going on. AJ and I were able to squeeze in some time for us over my weekend, so that has been nice.
Feelings this week?: I'm feeling pretty big this week, but I think the growing has slowed a little bit. I think I'm about the same size this week as I was during week 25 with Sam. So I'm not that much bigger. We're also thinking about middle names, I was really set on Jane for the longest time, no matter what the first name was... but since we decided on Gabriella, I've been thinking Rose might sound better as her middle name. We're still not sure, they both sound great so we haven't made any decisions yet.

I'm a little disappointed that we aren't farther along in her nursery, but it's a lot harder to find the time when we have another little one to manage. We were done with the nursery for Sam by this time when I was pregnant with him. I guess this Wednesday we'll have to just get on it. I need to clean out the rest of the furniture in that room and vacuum and carpet clean before we paint or anything. Hopefully we can get that taken care of this weekend.

Other than that, not much else going on. Sam amazes me every day, he's talking really well lately and says 3-4 word sentences now!