31 Weeks

How far along?: 31Weeks
How big is baby?: 16.25 Inches, 3.3 lbs!!
Food cravings?: Ice Cream Sandwhiches
What I'm looking forward to: Putting the finishing touches on Ella's Room, my baby shower is coming up soon!
Milestone: Pretty much from now till she's born it's mostly fattening up!
Sleep?: Well in between bathroom trips I'm sleeping pretty good. Though I am still extremely tired all the time.
Best moment this week?: Yesterday was a pretty good day, watching my boys play outside the kitchen window while I cooked, love them so much. That and sitting in AJ's lap last night while we watched TV that was nice too... basically just being together with my beautiful family makes me really happy!
Feelings this week?: A few things I've realized this week:

#1 I am more scared of the delivery this time than I was with Sam. I think this is partly due to the fact that I was in SO MUCH pain, and it really hasn't been long enough since Sam was born for me to forget what that pain felt like. But mainly it is because I had to experience the terror of something being wrong with my baby and not being able to do anything about it, not being able to see him or hear about how he was doing for hours after he was born. I had a dream the other night that Ella was born and they kept me from her and it brought back all those terrible emotions, and the anxiety of it all. I am terrified of that happening again, the more I think about Sam's birth the more thankful I am that AJ was there with him the whole time, I honestly don't think I realized how scared I was about Sam until we had come home from the hospital. It's like I couldn't let myself feel it or it would've been too much for me to handle after giving birth. (I was also drugged up so that could have been part of it.) I'm just praying that everything goes right this time, but I am definitly more scared and nervous about it this time.

#2 I am anxious about having a second baby when my first is so young. I am confident that it will be fine and we will all get used to one another, but I am nervous about how Sam is going to do. I remember when I was pregnant with sam how anxious I was to have him and with this one, I am not even close to ready to have her yet!