One Week Old Today!

Well today officially marks the first week of my little one's life. It has been such a roller coaster I can't believe the week has already gone by... Things are going pretty well right now and I am adjusting to being a new Mommy okay. There is definitley a learning curve to this Mommy business though and I'm starting to realize that there are some trial and error when it comes to this stuff.

Sam is doing great right now, though he is still on the oxygen, we're hoping that by this time next week he no longer needs it. An oxygen therapist came by yesterday and they were able to turn his level down a notch and he's going to come by next week and do a longer test, if Sam passes that test then we will be doing an overnight test and they will leave the pulse ox machine to do that. We've got our fingers crossed that he passes that. As far as his jaundice, he is all better from that and no longer needs to be on phototherapy, we are thrilled about that since the phototherapy blanket they gave us was extremely cumbersome, and now at least we can put him in pajama's for bed.

Breastfeeding isn't going so well and I've made the decision that I probably won't continue after the first month. He just was given a bottle automatically in the NICU and because of that he doesn't think of the breast as food, and he gets extremely frustrated every time I try and feed him from it, and then I get frustrated, and it just isn't conducive to a stressfree environment... I truly feel that had he not gone to the NICU and been bottle fed that we wouldn't be having these issues. I do however want him to be able to get the best of it, so I am still pumping my breast milk and giving it to him in a bottle, he does pretty well with that and we don't get stressed out either. I'm just doing what's best for me and my baby.

Other than that, things are just going extremely well right now, AJ is making a great Dad and is helping me out SO much around the house, I couldn't ask for a better husband, he has been a big help in keeping everything neat and organized for me. I just love watching him with Sam, it is the sweetest thing ever and once Sam starts to get bigger I can't wait to see how AJ will be... I really did get so lucky when I found AJ, he was so supportive during the pregnancy and just absolutely great during my labor and how he stayed with Sam the whole time after he was born even when I couldn't. Having Sam has just increased my love for him times about a million, I thought I loved him before, but it is nothing compared to how much I love him now.... it's like that Brad Paisley song, every new event that happens in our lives just makes me realize all over again how much I love my husband.

Well anyways, I better get going, it's almost time for a feeding!

Introducing Samuel Andrew Caldwell

Well as most of you know, at least those of you who pay attention to my facebook, my little munchkin and bundle of joy was born on Wednesday July 21, 2010 at 11:13 pm. It has been a roller coaster of emotions for the last week, but I am so glad to be home. I'm sure you're all wanting to know what happened, so here goes.

Things really started on Monday afternoon when I started to feel weird... I felt very different so I assumed that this was it and it was baby time, AJ and I went to the hospital, only to be told that I was only 1 cm dialated and that it wasn't time yet. We were both pretty disappointed, but my contractions went away shortly after that, so the hospital made a pretty good call. Wednesday morning however, I woke up at about 4 am with the worst pains and I thought that it was time, but I waited it out till about 11 am before telling AJ I thought we should head to the hospital. We got there and they checked me and once again I was only 1 cm dialated, so we walked... during that walk, my pain increased 10 fold and I fel like I was going to die! But when we got back, I was only 1.5 cm dialated, it was SO frustrating and they decided to send me home again... AJ was pretty upset about that, but there wasn't anything we could do. This was at about 1:00 pm, we got home I tried to nap, but nothing was helping and the pain was getting worse, especially in my back... these contractions would just centre right in my lower back and it was the most horrible pain I have ever felt... by about 3:30, I started feeling pressure, and in the interest of NOT having him at home, we headed back to the hospital. This time I was about 3 CM dialated, the nurse we had knew that I was in labor and didn't want to send me home, even though the policy was 4 CM, so she had me get into the jacuzzi tub and relax for a little while... we did this for about an hour, though  there wasn't a lot of relaxation, I was able to doze between contractions, and when we got back to the triage area, I was FINALLY 4 CM dialated and the hospital admitted me.

We got taken to the birthing room at around 5 pm and I was finally given the best present ever, the epidural... I honestly don't know how women can labor without one, the pain was so intense and horrible that I would have passed out had I not been given the epi... anyways, after getting the epidural, I was doing great and Dr. Lerch broke my water. We found out at that point that Sam had decided to take a little restroom break inside and there was merconium in the amniotic fluid... the Dr didn't seem to worried, but I know that I was concerned... but basically the Dr said they just had to suction his nose and mouth before he took his first breath. About two hours later I had dialated all the way and it was time to push! While I was pushing I found out why the pain had been so horrible, it was because Sam had decided to turn the wrong way and the hardest part of his head was facing my back instead of my front which is how it's supposed to be. But I was able to push him out and after the Dr suctioned his nose and mouth I heard the most beautiful sound in my lifer when he started to cry... it was amazing, of course I started crying and then they laid him on my tummy and I was able to see his sweet little face for the first time... it was the best moment of my entire life.... but also the scariest as they had to take him to the NICU after that for a little Oxygen because he was having a little trouble breathing. While they took him to the NICU my Dr stiched me up and I found out I had a 3rd degree tear, which is pretty horrible let me tell you, I'm just really glad it wasn't a 4th degree tear. After all the stiching was done it was time to switch rooms and they were going to have me try and use the restroom... apparently I lost too much blood and almost passed out on the toilet, the nurse had to pretty much shove epsom salt up my nose to get me to come back. So unfortunately I couldn't see my little Sam until the next day because they wanted me back in bed at that point.

Sam had to spend 48 hours in the NICU before being released and then again he isn't fully released yet, he is still on a little oxygen and he has a billi bed, which is because he's a little jaundiced, so we are trying to get him all better. We are hoping that he is no longer on all this stuff by the time next week comes around. The first few days home have been exhausting, it is very frustrating that I can't pick him up and take him wherever I want to... we are tied down by that oxygen tank so much. And breast feeding is very very frustrating, since he had to go to the NICU he was automatically given bottles, so because he is used to that he is now lazy when it comes to breast feeding. I'm trying to have an open mind about this though and I told AJ that if he doesn't get the hang of it by the end of the month that we're just going to formula, no need to stress myself and the baby out when there are other alternatives.

Well anyway, today is the first day that I am starting to feel human again and I'm hearing my little man stirring in the next room, so I'll leave this here... I just gotta say that I am completely in love with him, I have never truly known love until now. :-)

Hormonal Irrational Rant

Just to warn you, this is a rant, it is totally irrational and completely hormonal and I know it sounds like I am a spoiled brat. I'm just venting that is all.

I am now officially feeling like I will be pregnant forever. I feel like this is karma or something making up for what a great pregnancy I have had so far. Seriously. I really had no morning sickness beyond a little nausea, I haven't been all that uncomfortable, no really bad aches and pains to speak of, my swelling has been minimal, and I've honestly loved being pregnant... until now. Now I am ready to have Sam and my body is playing the meanest tricks on me. Every night since Thursday I have had regular contractions. Thursday night and Friday night they were every fifteen minutes, unfortunately these aren't the right contractions for me to have him. They are just braxton hicks, so funny since they are everything they say real contractions are supposed to be--except the pain factor. There is no pain, just my stomach gets extremely hard and tight, and I feel like I can't breathe for about 1 minute, then they go away. They are strong too, strong enough to make me lose my breath and have a hard time speaking through them. They are regular, they are consistent. I kept a record last night and they were coming on the dot every 7 minutes for two hours straight. By the time I went to bed it was every 15 minutes for the next 3 hours. But still, no pain besides a twinge here and there. Makes for a really horrible night sleep and I have probably gotten about 8 hours of sleep total for the last 3 days. So that adds to my wonderful mood lately.

My hospital bag is laughing at me too. I get in the car, see Sam's car seat and my bag sitting so innocently next to it and I just get so annoyed I want to take it out and put everything away because I feel like it's a waste of good clothes for it to just sit there in the back seat waiting for what could potentially be another two weeks. Not to mention that EVERY DAY that I go into work I get the: "You're still here? Aren't you going to have that baby?" I really would like to punch these people in the face when they say this, seriously, because if it were my choice I would have had him by now!

I know he's going to come when he's ready, and I know that the contractions I'm having are doing something to my body at least to make it ready for that day that finally does decide to make his appearance, but seriously, I wish I were one of those women who never notice their braxton hicks contractions, who feel totally fine until the day they actually go into labor, because this back and forth thing I've got going, not knowing whether this is the real thing or just another trick my body wants to play on me, is what's driving me nuts. I think I could handle being pregnant for another two weeks if it weren't for these evil braxton hicks contractions.

38 Week Update

How far along?: 38 weeks!
How big is baby?: Sam is around 7-7 1/2 lbs this week!
Food cravings?: I haven't really had any cravings, I just want to eat all the time.
What I'm looking forward to: The day those contractions start to get a little closer together and more severe, I'm looking forward to the day I officially become a Mommy.
Milestone: Sam is around birth size and weight now and all of his organs are functioning properly.
Feelings this week?: I'll be honest I was pretty upset last week when I found out that I hadn't made any progress, I know AJ was irritated by me being so sad about it, lol. I am just really hormonal right now I guess. This week I've been doing what I can to move things along, taking long walks and being on my feet more often. Not sure if it helped or not, but at my Dr's appointment today I got much better news than last time. I saw Dr. Lerch which is another Dr in the practice and she was really nice and efficient. I will be totally fine with her being my Dr if Dr Skiles isn't on call when I deliver. Anyways, I'm still growing on track, and my blood pressure is still good. When she checked me I am still not dialated but I am 60% effaced and she said Sam is at a +2 station, which means he's almost all the way engaged in my pelvis. I looked in my book at home and it pretty much means he's 2 CM away from being fully engaged and ready to go. So that's exciting news, I'm just hoping now that the effacement continues and dialation begins. I'm still so ready to have him, but I'm also accepting the fact that 2-3 weeks isn't forever. But we'll see.

Doctor Appointment Update-Frustrating!

So I just got back from my appointment, as you can tell from the title of this blog, it was extremely frustrating. They checked my BP and it's all good on that front, I gained a pound or so, I'm still measuring 36 weeks, so the growth is slowing down a little... but when she checked me NOTHING! I am not dialated, I am not soft and my cervix is still long. She tried for about a minute to see if she could get a finger in my cervix so she could say there was some change, but no budging, all it did was scare the hell out of Sam and push him up into my lungs. I also forgot to ask about the GBS test, and the Dr forgot to tell me, but I'm assuming I passed it or they would have said something...

I know that he's going to come when he's ready, but I can't tell you how frustrating it is for me, because I am ready. I've got everything finished, my house is clean, his nursery is done, and I'm feeling like a pile of poo about 3/4 of the time now because I can't sleep and I'm achey all over... I know it could be worse but I'm just so ready to hold him in my arms finally and I feel like he's going to come late, especially since there are no changes... ugh. I am just very frustrated right now.

37 weeks!

How far along?: 37 weeks, we are officially full term today!

How big is baby?: Sam is around 6 1/2-7 lbs this week! And he's gaining about an ounce a day now!
Food cravings?: watermelon.
What I'm looking forward to: Okay we are full term, I'm looking forward to Sam coming into the world... it could happen in a matter of days, or (hopefully not) a matter of weeks. I know he's running out of room and getting uncomfortable in there so I'm hoping he takes that as his cue to come out!
Milestone: Full term he can be born any time now!
Feelings this week?: This week I am feeling a lot more pain. It started on the 4th of July and has stuck around for the last few days. My pelvic bones are achey, and I'm having a lot of crampy pain in my abdomen. As well as a pinchy stretchy feeling in other areas. I'm hoping that this means good things as I'm full term now. I also feel like maybe he dropped, at least I felt that way yesterday, but I'm not sure looking at my pictures that he has. I just know he's slowed down in his movement for the past few days and I know he either dropped and he's big all over so you can't tell, or he's just officially so big he can't do anything anymore. Whatever it is, I'm taking it as a sign that he needs to come out soon since I don't want him to keep being uncomfortable. I also feel like I grew a foot in the last few days. I know I have definately gotten bigger and I personally think it's way noticable. Well I don't know, all I know is that we've got everything set and ready and now we just need him to complete it!

Dr Appointment Update

Well I had my Dr's appointment today... pretty boring,  as nothing is happening yet, lol. They measured me and I'm still growing, Sam is measuring 36 centimeters so still right on with where he needs to be. His heart rate is also in the 140's, so he's doing very well right now. Dr says she still thinks he is head down because when she checked me she felt his head. No dialation though and my cervix is still high and closed, I was hoping that there would be some changes, but no dice. I am still early though so maybe next week. They also had to rerun the GBS test because the lab apparently lost the results from the first time they took it, so that was fun... but I have another appointment next week so we shall see what happens with that. Hopefully good things.