5 Weeks Old Today

Gosh, 5 weeks have alreday gone by... this is going too fricken fast!! My little boy is starting to do so many things lately, he's found his tounge and loves to stick it out at me, and I think he's finding his hands too, he was sitting in his bouncy seat the other day just staring at his hand like "What is this thing?" It was adorable.

This week has been a little rough on us though, it started with him having green poop  and bad gas for a while and so we switched him to soy formula, the soy formula so far hasn't done much but we are thinking that his  little body is just getting used to it. He got a little constipated and so he's been extremely fussy and cranky some days... but the Dr told us to give him some Karo syrup with his formula and we are hoping that he passes this and is good after that.

I did get one reward this week when I got my first smile the other day. Of course I cried! Other than that, not much else going on this week. We are putting him in his own room for the first time tonight and I am nervous as hell. But I just have this feeling like it's time. It will be easier on me and AJ since I will not have to worry about turning lights on or anything like that and I won't have to worry about being quiet. Plus for the past few days he's slept in there extremely soundly during his naps, so I know he will be fine. But of course first time Mom, I am nervous. We will see how it goes though and I will update my FB with how the night went.

Other than that, things are going great. I love my little man and I feel like I'm fighting time before I have to go back to work... only 3 weeks left to enjoy as much time as I can with him...

4 weeks old

Well today Sam is officially four weeks old. He will be one month old on Saturday. I can't believe that this time has gone by so fast already and I feel like my return to work date is just rushing at me! I am not ready to go back to work and in four weeks I doubt I will be ready yet... but I know that I need to help provide for my family and pull my own weight too, I've just so enjoyed being able to spend so much time with my little man... the only thing that makes going back to work a little easier is that I have family helping to watch Sam, so I know that he will be in good hands.

In the last four weeks he has changed sooo much, he is starting to pay more attention to his surroundings and focus more on the things and people around him. I'm so anxious for that first smile... Another thing that makes life easier is that he is officially off of the oxygen. I cried when they called and told me that, and even though we were out at the store, the first thing I did when I got off the phone is take that stupid thing off his face. He is definitely happier now and taking him places is no longer the hassle that it once was. I'm just a tad nervous at night when he's going to sleep but I say a little prayer (after checking his breathing about 20 times.) asking God to watch over him through the night... it helps me sleep easier. I'm not sure yet, but if at the end of the week I'm feeling more comfortable and we don't seem to have any issues, I'm thinking of putting him in his own bedroom... though I want to ease him into it, so I think I'm going to try putting him in there for naps first so he can get used to the big bed instead of his bassinette. I'm going to start this tomorrow and see how he does...

We also got his first set of pictures taken today and he was absolutely ADORABLE and awake the whole time which I am happy about. I haven't gotten access to the online webpage yet but when I do I'll make sure to post them on Facebook.

Other than that, not much else going on, we're just one happy happy family and I am absolutely loving my new role as Mommy.

Three Weeks and 2 days old!

I can't believe it's been three weeks already, it feels like just yesterday that I was pregnant, and now I have this sweet little boy who's just become the light of my life... I am going to be a complete wreck when I go back to work. Even just leaving him with AJ's mom for a few hours the other day made me sad and I started missing him after about 15 minutes, I even started crying in the car when I told AJ that I missed him, lol.  It just really sucks that in this day and age you pretty much have to have a two income household to make ends meet.

My little Sam is such a bright little boy already, he really has started becoming much more aware the last week. He really is focusing on people and objects. I first noticed that he was watching the ceiling fan the other day and then whenever I talk to him he just looks and looks at my face like he understands everything I am saying... and then it was so awesome my Mom was holding him and his cousin Aiden came up to say hi, and Sam turned his whole head over to where Aiden was so that he could see who was there. That was just amazing to me! He's already grown and developed so much in the last three weeks, I can't believe how much he's changed... now I'm just ready for his first real smile.

Other than that, not much else going on this week, we did the pulse ox test yesterday and he did much better than last time. There was about 30 minutes where he sort of stayed in the 90-92 range, but for most of the night he was around 94-97. So I am hoping he passes though we won't know till Monday, since the Dr's office didn't get the results from the test faxed until later in the day today.

I've got 4 weeks and 4 days till I go back to work, so I'm trying to enjoy every second of it.

Two Weeks Old (and two days, lol)

I realize this blog is a little late, unfortunately though it's much harder to find the time to do this kind of thing now that I have a little one to take care of. But I do want to keep it up since I know a lot of people like to keep up with me this way.

So two weeks have already gone by and I can't believe it. Already my little man has changed sooo much. He's already got a little personality and I love it, though he seems to have inherited the stubborness and impatience from us, so he can sometimes be a challenge.  But that's okay, because he makes up for it with how calm he is most of the time, he is just impatient when he's hungry and stubborn about going to bed. He also seems to be a morning person right now, he wakes up around 8:30 and just sits there kicking his legs and arms around and talking to me for a few hours, it's my favorite time of day!

Unfortunately we are on the oxygen for another week. We did the overnight test on Wednesday night, and Sam stayed above the 90 mark for his pulse ox, but was just hanging around 91, and Dr. Leubbert wants him to be consistently above the 92 mark for his pulse ox, so next week we get to do it again, and the Dr seems to think that he should be off of the oxygen by then, but we will see. I just don't want to take him off till he's ready, I know the first night that oxygen is gone that I probably won't get much sleep since I'll be checking on him all night.

We also got to meet cousin Jake today and he is also so adorable. You can definitley see the size difference, but Brook is also a smaller girl than I am and look at Sam's daddy! It's in Sam's genes to be a big guy. Obviously they didn't really do much today because they are so small right now, but I can't wait till they are both bigger and can play with each other, I'm sure they will have tons of fun together.

Other than that I am about 95% better now, I'm still a little sore, but for the most part, I am feeling way better, tired a lot but what new Mom isn't? The important thing is that I love my new job as Mommy, my little guy is really the light of my life now, and I love him so much!

One Week Old Today!

Well today officially marks the first week of my little one's life. It has been such a roller coaster I can't believe the week has already gone by... Things are going pretty well right now and I am adjusting to being a new Mommy okay. There is definitley a learning curve to this Mommy business though and I'm starting to realize that there are some trial and error when it comes to this stuff.

Sam is doing great right now, though he is still on the oxygen, we're hoping that by this time next week he no longer needs it. An oxygen therapist came by yesterday and they were able to turn his level down a notch and he's going to come by next week and do a longer test, if Sam passes that test then we will be doing an overnight test and they will leave the pulse ox machine to do that. We've got our fingers crossed that he passes that. As far as his jaundice, he is all better from that and no longer needs to be on phototherapy, we are thrilled about that since the phototherapy blanket they gave us was extremely cumbersome, and now at least we can put him in pajama's for bed.

Breastfeeding isn't going so well and I've made the decision that I probably won't continue after the first month. He just was given a bottle automatically in the NICU and because of that he doesn't think of the breast as food, and he gets extremely frustrated every time I try and feed him from it, and then I get frustrated, and it just isn't conducive to a stressfree environment... I truly feel that had he not gone to the NICU and been bottle fed that we wouldn't be having these issues. I do however want him to be able to get the best of it, so I am still pumping my breast milk and giving it to him in a bottle, he does pretty well with that and we don't get stressed out either. I'm just doing what's best for me and my baby.

Other than that, things are just going extremely well right now, AJ is making a great Dad and is helping me out SO much around the house, I couldn't ask for a better husband, he has been a big help in keeping everything neat and organized for me. I just love watching him with Sam, it is the sweetest thing ever and once Sam starts to get bigger I can't wait to see how AJ will be... I really did get so lucky when I found AJ, he was so supportive during the pregnancy and just absolutely great during my labor and how he stayed with Sam the whole time after he was born even when I couldn't. Having Sam has just increased my love for him times about a million, I thought I loved him before, but it is nothing compared to how much I love him now.... it's like that Brad Paisley song, every new event that happens in our lives just makes me realize all over again how much I love my husband.

Well anyways, I better get going, it's almost time for a feeding!

Introducing Samuel Andrew Caldwell

Well as most of you know, at least those of you who pay attention to my facebook, my little munchkin and bundle of joy was born on Wednesday July 21, 2010 at 11:13 pm. It has been a roller coaster of emotions for the last week, but I am so glad to be home. I'm sure you're all wanting to know what happened, so here goes.

Things really started on Monday afternoon when I started to feel weird... I felt very different so I assumed that this was it and it was baby time, AJ and I went to the hospital, only to be told that I was only 1 cm dialated and that it wasn't time yet. We were both pretty disappointed, but my contractions went away shortly after that, so the hospital made a pretty good call. Wednesday morning however, I woke up at about 4 am with the worst pains and I thought that it was time, but I waited it out till about 11 am before telling AJ I thought we should head to the hospital. We got there and they checked me and once again I was only 1 cm dialated, so we walked... during that walk, my pain increased 10 fold and I fel like I was going to die! But when we got back, I was only 1.5 cm dialated, it was SO frustrating and they decided to send me home again... AJ was pretty upset about that, but there wasn't anything we could do. This was at about 1:00 pm, we got home I tried to nap, but nothing was helping and the pain was getting worse, especially in my back... these contractions would just centre right in my lower back and it was the most horrible pain I have ever felt... by about 3:30, I started feeling pressure, and in the interest of NOT having him at home, we headed back to the hospital. This time I was about 3 CM dialated, the nurse we had knew that I was in labor and didn't want to send me home, even though the policy was 4 CM, so she had me get into the jacuzzi tub and relax for a little while... we did this for about an hour, though  there wasn't a lot of relaxation, I was able to doze between contractions, and when we got back to the triage area, I was FINALLY 4 CM dialated and the hospital admitted me.

We got taken to the birthing room at around 5 pm and I was finally given the best present ever, the epidural... I honestly don't know how women can labor without one, the pain was so intense and horrible that I would have passed out had I not been given the epi... anyways, after getting the epidural, I was doing great and Dr. Lerch broke my water. We found out at that point that Sam had decided to take a little restroom break inside and there was merconium in the amniotic fluid... the Dr didn't seem to worried, but I know that I was concerned... but basically the Dr said they just had to suction his nose and mouth before he took his first breath. About two hours later I had dialated all the way and it was time to push! While I was pushing I found out why the pain had been so horrible, it was because Sam had decided to turn the wrong way and the hardest part of his head was facing my back instead of my front which is how it's supposed to be. But I was able to push him out and after the Dr suctioned his nose and mouth I heard the most beautiful sound in my lifer when he started to cry... it was amazing, of course I started crying and then they laid him on my tummy and I was able to see his sweet little face for the first time... it was the best moment of my entire life.... but also the scariest as they had to take him to the NICU after that for a little Oxygen because he was having a little trouble breathing. While they took him to the NICU my Dr stiched me up and I found out I had a 3rd degree tear, which is pretty horrible let me tell you, I'm just really glad it wasn't a 4th degree tear. After all the stiching was done it was time to switch rooms and they were going to have me try and use the restroom... apparently I lost too much blood and almost passed out on the toilet, the nurse had to pretty much shove epsom salt up my nose to get me to come back. So unfortunately I couldn't see my little Sam until the next day because they wanted me back in bed at that point.

Sam had to spend 48 hours in the NICU before being released and then again he isn't fully released yet, he is still on a little oxygen and he has a billi bed, which is because he's a little jaundiced, so we are trying to get him all better. We are hoping that he is no longer on all this stuff by the time next week comes around. The first few days home have been exhausting, it is very frustrating that I can't pick him up and take him wherever I want to... we are tied down by that oxygen tank so much. And breast feeding is very very frustrating, since he had to go to the NICU he was automatically given bottles, so because he is used to that he is now lazy when it comes to breast feeding. I'm trying to have an open mind about this though and I told AJ that if he doesn't get the hang of it by the end of the month that we're just going to formula, no need to stress myself and the baby out when there are other alternatives.

Well anyway, today is the first day that I am starting to feel human again and I'm hearing my little man stirring in the next room, so I'll leave this here... I just gotta say that I am completely in love with him, I have never truly known love until now. :-)

Hormonal Irrational Rant

Just to warn you, this is a rant, it is totally irrational and completely hormonal and I know it sounds like I am a spoiled brat. I'm just venting that is all.

I am now officially feeling like I will be pregnant forever. I feel like this is karma or something making up for what a great pregnancy I have had so far. Seriously. I really had no morning sickness beyond a little nausea, I haven't been all that uncomfortable, no really bad aches and pains to speak of, my swelling has been minimal, and I've honestly loved being pregnant... until now. Now I am ready to have Sam and my body is playing the meanest tricks on me. Every night since Thursday I have had regular contractions. Thursday night and Friday night they were every fifteen minutes, unfortunately these aren't the right contractions for me to have him. They are just braxton hicks, so funny since they are everything they say real contractions are supposed to be--except the pain factor. There is no pain, just my stomach gets extremely hard and tight, and I feel like I can't breathe for about 1 minute, then they go away. They are strong too, strong enough to make me lose my breath and have a hard time speaking through them. They are regular, they are consistent. I kept a record last night and they were coming on the dot every 7 minutes for two hours straight. By the time I went to bed it was every 15 minutes for the next 3 hours. But still, no pain besides a twinge here and there. Makes for a really horrible night sleep and I have probably gotten about 8 hours of sleep total for the last 3 days. So that adds to my wonderful mood lately.

My hospital bag is laughing at me too. I get in the car, see Sam's car seat and my bag sitting so innocently next to it and I just get so annoyed I want to take it out and put everything away because I feel like it's a waste of good clothes for it to just sit there in the back seat waiting for what could potentially be another two weeks. Not to mention that EVERY DAY that I go into work I get the: "You're still here? Aren't you going to have that baby?" I really would like to punch these people in the face when they say this, seriously, because if it were my choice I would have had him by now!

I know he's going to come when he's ready, and I know that the contractions I'm having are doing something to my body at least to make it ready for that day that finally does decide to make his appearance, but seriously, I wish I were one of those women who never notice their braxton hicks contractions, who feel totally fine until the day they actually go into labor, because this back and forth thing I've got going, not knowing whether this is the real thing or just another trick my body wants to play on me, is what's driving me nuts. I think I could handle being pregnant for another two weeks if it weren't for these evil braxton hicks contractions.