Our First Family Christmas

Okay, I know this is way overdue, lol. I am just now getting time to do this update, and I'm doing it in between calls at work right now!

Christmas was--honestly there are no words, I want to say great, or wonderful or awesome, but it just doesn't seem like enough. There is no doubt in my mind that this was the best Christmas I have ever had in my life. Christmas Eve we spent the night with AJ's family and Sam is so cute, he was facinated by the wrapping paper and actually helped open most of his presents. He was smiling and laughing and he had so much fun!

Christmas day he actually slept in, LOL! I know I won't be getting that for too many more years! Anyway, we got up around 8:30 and brought him downstairs to see what Santa brought him, he got an Excersize Gym that he just loves! Then we opened presents from Mommy and Daddy, and he was just the sweetest thing the whole time getting excited over all the presents we got. After presents we had breakfast and I started on our dinner, we had duck, all in all a very relaxing day, and it was so nice to spend time just the three of us.

One of the best things about Christmas this year is rediscovering the Christmas magic that we had as kids. You know when you're a kid and Christmas is coming up you get so excited about all the stuff you're going to get, and as you get older the magic of it all wears off, you start to get jaded and it's no longer the what it used to be. Having kids brings that feeling back, but in a whole new way, I was so excited to watch Sam enjoy the holiday and his gifts. All in all just a wonderful, wonderful day! :-)

5 Months Old!

Age: 5 months and 1 day old
Length: 27 inches
Weight: 14.6 lbs
Milestones: You are rolling over from your tummy to your back, and occasionally from your back to your tummy. You have started pushing up on your hands when you're on your tummy,

You also can sit unassisted for about 5 seconds before you topple over. When you're on the floor if we put our fingers out you will grab them and pull yourself up to a sitting position then go up to a standing position. You sleep through the night, but only when you want to. You babble constantly and are saying: "dadadada" all the time now. Oh and you've found your toes and love looking at them and grabbing them .

Favorite Food: Carrots, you gobble them up whenever we give them to you!

Favorite Toy: Right now you're favorite toy is your exersaucer, you are starting to figure out how to turn around and how to spin the rattle. Oh and you are OBSESSED with that pig, you find it as soon as we put you down in it!

What Makes You Laugh: When we tickle your sides or when we blow on your ears, also sometimes just when we talk to you! You also think cousin Jake is HILARIOUS!

Interesting things that happened this month: We put you in the shopping cart without your seat for the first time this month, you loved it!

 You also started using the exersaucer this month as well, which you love. It was your first Thanksgiving this month and you enjoyed it by eating sweet potatoes for dinner.

This month we also went on the Santa Express with cousin's Maddy and Ali and saw Santa for the first time! We also went to Pueblo and met all of your Great-Aunts and Uncles and all of your cousins.

What Mommy is thinking: Mommy is thinking that you are growing up way too fast! It was just yesterday when you were a tiny little thing all curled into a ball on my chest and snuggling with me. Now you are already asserting your independance and snuggling is something I only get when you are tired.

But that's okay, because I love to see when you discover something new how your eyes just light up and you start wiggling because you're so excited! I also love waking up in the morning to your babbling, it is so adorable and I can't wait for the day those babbles turn into words. Another thing I love is at night or in the morning when you do wake up, if I go into your room you see me and no matter how tired you still are you start smiling and wiggling because you are so excited to see me... Just makes my heart melt!

Weekly Update!

My little sweetheart is officially 5 months old! I can't believe how the time has flown! He is getting SOOO big and just loves to play with his toes now, we've had a pretty good week this week, starting off with him sleeping through the night for three whole days in a row! I couldn't believe it, he slept from 9-5 each day. Unfortunately it was a teaser since Sunday he went back to waking up in the middle of the night, though he has started figuring out how to roll over when he wakes up, so it's not nearly as bad since he babbles to himself for a while before I have to go get him.

I think that I am going to start a little monthly survey thing with updates for what's going on that month, don't worry I'll still do my weekly updates, but I think they're going to be more around our lives and not just Sam, (though who am I kidding, my whole life revolves around him!) and then on every month on the 21st I'll update with info specifically about Sam, look for that post next!

Weekly Update!

Sam is 4 months and three weeks old... He's getting so big, going to be 5 months old a week from today! It's a little surreal thinking that almost 5 months have passed since he was born!

This has been a pretty rough week, to be honest, the week started out okay, but by Thursday Sam was extremely fussy and not wanting to eat anything, we took him to the Dr on Friday to find out that he had an ear infection, yikes! We were prescribed some Antibiotics and thankfully he has done much better, he still has a pretty stuffy nose that is interfering with his sleep, so unfortunately he's still been a little grumpy. But not too bad.

And the sleeping through the night thing lasted all of two days before he started feeling sick, so we are back to square one on that. In fact now he's waking up more than before, I know that's just due to all the extra snot in his nose, and I'm hoping the sniffles go away soon so he can get back to feeling better, as much as I hate losing sleep myself, I know that he needs a good nights sleep just as much as I do.

I also think he has an allergy to Prunes, well maybe not exactly an allergy, but he could have had an adverse reaction to them. I started him on them on Sunday night and he didn't have any issues until after I gave them to him Monday morning. That afternoon I noticed he had a pretty bad rash after eating them, so I've stopped giving him those for now... it also could be due to the dryer sheet I used the other day too, so I've been re-washing all his clothes without the dryer sheet to see if that helps too. Once the rash clears up I'm going to try giving it to him again to see how he reacts since that's what the Dr wanted, they told me once the rash clears up to give him just prunes and formula and see if there is a reaction. Apparently sometimes allergies manifest over time and so even if I've fed him something before it could be a reaction to the oatmeal cereal I started giving him, or something completely different! I don't know if it's the prunes though just due to the fact that peaches are in the same food family as prunes and he had no problems with those.

Other than that, things are going well. He's a trooper, even though he hasn't felt well the last few days, he's still been happy... pretty clingy so my house is a disastor since I can't get anything done except for when he's asleep, but that's okay, I like my Sam snuggles when I can get them since I know it's only a matter of time before they are few and far between *tear, he already holds his head up so well all the time and would rather be looking out at everyone than snuggling with Mommy. They grow up so fast...

Other than that, AJ and I are doing amazing, I thought my new shift would make it hard for us to spend time together, but the fact is that we actually spend more time together now than we did before... we usually spend time talking when I get home before going to bed and it gives us that hour of time for just us to spend together, when before I would be going to bed at the same time Sam does and we never really got time just the two of us, so it sure is nice to be able to get that time with him...

All in all, things are going great right now!

20 weeks!

OMG, I can't believe 20 weeks have already gone by since Sam was born... it feels just like yesterday that I was in labor!

Sam is my big growing boy... growing literally like a weed, tall and skinny, lol. We had his Dr appointment yesterday and he's in the 81st percentile for height and the 29th for weight, and his head is in the 84th percentile for size, that I am not at all suprised about, I remember how big that head was when I was giving birth, LOL! The Dr says he is perfectly healthy and is not concerned about his weight at all. All in all he is doing great. He's getting a little bit better at rolling over, to his back from his tummy. Hopefully he picks up on that soon, I think that when he wakes up in the morning he gets pissed from being on his tummy, so if he was able to roll over I think he would just babble more than anything at least for a little while, lol.

We also got vaccines yesterday and they didn't sit really well with him, he had a low grade fever this morning when he woke up and he wasn't a very happy camper most of the day, luckily my SIL Sarah said that he was fine for her most of the day, though by the time AJ got him he was fussing again... I also think that he can sense that we are worried about him and he fusses more. Not that Sarah isn't worried about him, just that she's been there done that with her girls so she knows how these things work... she's just a tad bit wiser and much more confident than me on this, lol.

Also... he SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! I can't fricken believe it, I guess I have to keep him awake until like 11 to get him to do it, but he sure did it. 10:15 pm-5:30 am, probably would have been longer but I went to check on him at 5:20 am and I swear the boy has amazing ears, cause not 5 minutes later he was fussing for me to come get him. The next night he slept from 9:30-4:30 and last night he did the same. So I think that he is starting to get the hang of sleeping finally.

All in all a great week!

18 and 19 weeks update!

So... I am obviously not very good about doing this on Monday's, or really any scheduled day, but I'll get to it when I get to it, lol.

Things are going really well right now with Sam. He's really getting to the point where he is social, he loves to talk to me and AJ, (and pretty much anyone else, LOL!) His favorite thing to do is to lay on the floor on his little toy mat thing and bat at the toys, (can't wait till Christmas, I got him such a fun toy that he will LOVE!) He's really good at rolling from his tummy to his back, but he won't do it unless it's the middle of the night. I've seen him do it like 5 times, but he just refuses to do it during the day! He also is getting really good at sitting (supported), and I'm putting him in his bumbo seat a lot so that he can strengthen his back muscles for sitting on his own soon. He loves, loves loves solid foods, and eats like a little piggy whenever I feed him, (he finishes the whole little jar right now which is about 1/2 the size of a regular jar!)

Unfortunately still not sleeping through the night yet, but I'm starting to wonder if it has to do with the fan, I forgot to turn the fan off the other night and he slept from 8:00 to 4:00 which is 8 hours, then went back to sleep for another four hours. So I have a small little fan that I'm going to set up in his room, so that there is air circulation without it being directly on him. I don't know, we'll see, bottom line is that he'll sleep through the night when he's ready, (I'm just ready for him to sleep through the night!)

Other than that, not much else going on, he's a happy happy little man, and I'm a happy happy momma!

Doing a little home improvement!

So we're doing a bathroom reno. Something that was unfortunately not by choice, we were redoing the caulking in the shower when a tile fell off the wall and we found mold underneath!! Luckily there was minor damage, but we decided that we needed a shower door instead of a shower curtain to keep it from happening again, and since we ripped out the linolium to check the subfloor obviously we have to get a new floor! So here's what's been done so far, AJ has put in the shower door, replaced the floor with tiles (looks really nice!) and we've also decided to do a few other things, we're going to paint the walls and we also ripped out the huge mirror that was in there (don't worry we're going to frame it and use it in another room.) We're also going to put some shelves above the toilet and replace the medicine cabinet as well as the light fixtures, we're also thinking about painting the cabinet. All in all I am excited about it now that we're doing it! And we're going to have plenty of tiles left over to tile Sam's bathroom as well. Then on to the next project! I had no idea how much fun renovating is, (of course I'm not the one doing all the work though, lol!)

17 Weeks Old!

My little man is getting mobile! He rolled over this week! First he did it from back to front, and then he did it from front to back. Unfortunately it may have been a fluke him doing it from back to front, since he hasn't done it since, but I know he's getting the hang of rolling over from front to back as several times I have gone into his room for a night feeding to him laying on his back, even though he's a tummy sleeper. (I even witnessed him doing it a few times!)

I also go the start of a belly laugh today. It was the cutest freaking thing ever! I love that he's starting to laugh like that. And he's sooo full of smiles all the time. I really love the fact that I get to spend time with him during the morning like this, though I do miss rocking him to sleep at night. But in all reality it's probably a good thing since AJ is teaching him to soothe himself to sleep instead of having to be rocked. Hopefully that will spill over into his nightime waking. I just don't know what to do with him since he wakes up and acts like he is STARVING. I think I'm going to try reducing the amount he eats in the middle of the night by half an ounce every few days till he gets the hint that the middle of the night is not eating time, lol. Then maybe he'll be more consistent when eating during the day and he'll start sleeping all night.

Feeding him solids is going great, I started him on green beans this week and he loves them! I also found that Kings has baby food that is half the size of a regular jar (so 2 oz instead of 4 oz) so that I don't have to waste the left over food. I'm going to start him on Squash on Sunday...

Well anyways, this has been a good week, lots of new stuff going on this week!

Oh I'm also going to be changing my update day to Monday since I'm no longer off on Wednesday, that way I will have time to keep this up!

Thankful Thursday's

This week I'm thankful for my husband, AJ. I am so lucky to have him! I look around me and I see all these people who are struggling to figure things out and they have little or no support and it really makes me appreciate even more how much AJ does for me and Sam. He is a wonderful dad and husband. He still finds time to show me how much he appreciates me and tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful, and he absolutely adores Sam and is always there helping me out when I need it. I really am a lucky, lucky woman to have a husband like AJ! I also love the fact that I don't have to worry about car troubles and that he can do little things to make my car better. (He was able to activate the remote start for me! YAY!)

The bottom line is that AJ is there for me always, helping me out, loving on Sam and doing whatever he can to make things easier on me, and he doesn't complain for one minute! Like I said, extremely thankful for him.

Thankful Thursday's

This week I am thankful for Sam. He is my absolute most favorite person in the world and I love him more than words can describe. He is just such a happy baby and despite the fact that he has yet to sleep through the night, it really doens't bother me that I have to get up with him. He makes up for it in so many other ways, in all reality he is a relitively easy baby, he's easy to entertain, he loves to talk to his Momma and Daddy and snuggle with us and he doesn't cry easily, unless he's hungry, lol. I am thankful for the fact that he was able to get past his oxygen issues without any difficulty, that he is growing and he is big and strong. Most of all I am thankful that God chose me to be his Mother and that for the rest of my life I will always carry him with me wherever I go, even when we aren't together, and that when I say: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." I really mean it.

16 weeks Old!

Well I am late posting again, it is harder and harder to find time in my day, but I want to keep up with it anyways. Sam still hasn't rolled over yet, but he is soooo close, he got about 90% of the way over today but just couldn't get the last 10% and flopped back on his back, lol. He absolutely loves being on the floor now and it's my favorite time of day when I get off work and just get down on the floor with him and talk to him (while he babbles back, lol.) He's just getting so so big and actually likes to play with toys now, the more stuff he does the more exciting it is, lol. I know that it's going to be any day now that he finally rolls over, I just can't wait! I also started giving him real baby food, I started off mixing it in with rice cereal, I did that for three days and then I finally gave him straight baby food, he's getting over the texture now, but he loves it! I love feeding him too, he's so good, he opens his mouth for the spoon and doesn't spit it back at me anymore, he's just getting so big, my little cuddle muffin is turning into a curious little boy. Now that he can hold his head up by himself it is almost impossible to get him to lay his head on my shoulder unless he's tired! He's going to be an independant baby I think. Well all in all a great week and I am just loving that I get to be his mommy!

Thankful Thursday's (Okay, so I know it's technically friday today)

I know it isn't Thursday, I meant to post this yesterday, but things got away from me, lol. So in the future, this is something I'll be posting on Thursday's, I'm going to try to keep this up throughout the month of November, and maybe beyond if I like it.

This week I am thankful for all of my family and friends, who have been extremely helpful with my transition into motherhood and into being a working mom. I really do not know what I would do without all of your help and support... I am more than grateful that my son is always left with people who love and adore him and who will care for him the way I would. It has made working 100 times easier knowing that I do not have to worry about whether he is getting enough love and attention, to know that he is not just another child to watch, or another paycheck for someone. I know it is not always the easiest thing to change your day around for us, but we appreciate so much what you all do for us. And I love, love, love the fact that Sam is going to be close to his grandparents, cousins and Aunts and Uncles. This is the second best thing to being a stay at home Mom, knowing that I get to leave him with family.

So, to close, I just want you all to know how much I appreciate all you have done for my family. It won't be forgotten!

15 Weeks Old!

15 weeks old already, wow! He's going on four months already! He's so inquisitive lately, he watches everything and whenever I lay on the floor with him he sits there just touching my face like he wants to figure it out. And he's starting to play with toys now. Oh and he talks and talks and talks all the time now! And it's starting to be more than just cooing, he's gurgling and squealing and all of those fun things. I even got him to laugh a few times today!

Other than that he did roll over today! I laid him on his tummy and kind of showed him how to do it, after I showed him he did it again, but only one time, I think it's only a matter of time before he starts doing it all on his own all the time, and he's so close to rolling from his back to his tummy he just can't figure out how to get his arm out of the way.

I also started feeding him cereal twice a day, he absolutely loves it, he has even started finishing the whole bowl. Then he usually eats a few ounces out of his bottle afterwards. I really think he's ready for some baby food, I have a feeling he'll eat it up.

All in all he's just getting so big! I can't believe he's going to be four months old soon!

14 Weeks old!

My little booger is getting so big so fast, I can't believe it's already been 14 weeks. Where did all that time go I wonder? This week I had to go shopping to get Sam some warmer clothes, we are starting to hit the cold weather and most of his clothes are meant for warmer weather. I got some pretty cute stuff, and I think that he'll like the fact that he's not freezing when he goes out, lol.

Sam is doing so good developmentally, he's holding his head up so well right now, and when he's on his tummy I know he's sooooo close to rolling over, he just can't figure it out yet, lol. He also babbles all the time and has just recently figured out how to blow spit bubbles, lol. I'm a little disapointed that I haven't gotten anymore laughs though, I'm starting to think I imagined the laughs he was making! Hopefully more will come soon.

Pretty soon we'll have his 4 month well baby check up, I think I"m going to schedule that for the week before Thanksgiving because I don't want him feeling bad from his vaccines on Thanksgiving. Plus if the Dr okay's us to start baby food I want to start him on some before that day so he's not trying something new in the midst of all the holiday excitement. I already give him teeny little tastes of my food right now, (like sweet potato and pancake syrup, etc) He just loves it when I do that, so I know he's ready for some new flavors.

AJ and I have also started thinking about what we want to do for the holiday's this year, we are thinking that on Christmas day we're going to make that a day for just our family and just stay home and let Sam enjoy his new stuff. We haven't decided on this 100%, but it's something we're considering, of course if this is what we do we would still love to have people come over to see us, we just won't want to go out anywhere. Well, nothing is concrete yet, we just are thinking about this now that our little family has grown.

Great Day!

I know it's a little early for me to be updating my blog since it's not Wednesday yet, but I just had to update.

Last night was the best night Sam has had as far as sleeping. He went down at 8:45 pm and slept peacefully and soundly until 4:15 am! This is great since he is usually waking up around 2:30-3:00 am. I woke up before he did, at 3:00 and expected him to be awake, but when I listened to the moniter, he was still sleeping peacefully, when he woke up at 4:15, I only think he actually woke up because he has scooted himself into the corner of the crib and his head was squished, lol! He's going to be crawling in no time based on the way he can scoot. I am going to move the sensor for my motion moniter closer to the center of the bed tonight to see if he will sleep longer. And once I put him back down to sleep he slept until 7:15 am! That is great since he usually was waking up at around 5 am, this is the second morning that I haven't had to put him in bed with us. I think the only reason he even woke up this morning is because he heard me moving around. (I'm thinking of closing his door or at least just cracking it, to keep the room warmer and to keep him from hearing us when we get up for the day.) I'm just so glad we're starting to make progress on the sleeping through the night thing! It makes for a well rested and happy mama!

He also made my day this morning when he giggled at me for the first time, he has kind of laughed before, but not for me, AJ said he laughed for him and my sister said he giggled yesterday when she was tickling him. So this morning when he woke up he was in such a happy mood, so I tickled him and he gave me the sweetest little giggle, it totally makes everything completely worth it!

We were going to go to the Pumpkin patch today, but unfortunately they are closed on Sunday (they really need to update their website!) So I made do with some pumpkins from Walmart and the leaves and flowers in my yard, I took some really cute pictures of Sam!

13 Weeks Old!

My little stinker is 13 weeks old already and tomorrow marks his 3 month birthday! I can't believe it already 3 months have gone by, he is just so sweet lately smiling and talking to me all the time. I'm so ready for that first laugh. Any day now I think. He's really starting to get dexterity in his hands and he grabs everything in his sight now, lol.

We did have to go to the Dr today cause his eczema is getting worse, she prescribed us with a topical steroid ointment to use on his skin, which is good cause he needs it. Every night this week when he has woken up I walked into the room to him rubbing his face all over the sheets and when I pick him up he would start screaming because he was so itchy. I've been putting some hydrocortozone cream on him like the Dr said last time I had an appointment, but it hasn't really been helping and it's getting worse since his back is now covered in spots. I'm also going to buy some baby laundry detergent to make sure that's not part of it. (I don't know how it could be as I buy the free and clear stuff, but I think I should get the kind meant for baby skin just in case. I'm starting to think that the itching is the only reason he's waking up at night anymore and I'm hoping that this solves that problem.

We also had to move his bathtub up to the bathroom, he's not ready for the big tub yet, but he made a GIANT mess in the kitchen last night with all his splashing, it was so cute so I didn't care about having to clean it up, lol. Also Auntie Sarah and Nana have got him on a nap schedule so he's sleeping right now, and he's growing out of his three month clothes already! It's his body that's so long that's why he's growing out of it all, he fits into 6 month clothes length-wise right now, just not width wise, it's too cute, lol. He also has realized what a camera is, and refuses to smile for me when I try to get his picture!

Shift Update!

Well, I wanted to let everyone know what happened at work. I ended up on a Tuesday through Saturday 2:00 PM to 10:30 PM shift. Not horrible, not amazing. In all honesty this is just like when AJ worked at Checker since he was closing most of the time. They had another shift open that was a weekend wrap that got off at 8:00 pm, but I didn't think that getting off a few extra hours early was worth having to work both weekend days since by the time I got home Sam would already be in bed. This way I have most of my morning with Sam, I mean 8:00 am to 1:30 pm is a good chunk of time and in all honesty more time than I am getting with him now. Plus I can schedule appointments any day of the week, and I can still spend time with family, just has to be in the morning. I'm also still getting a differential, it's an extra $1.00 per hour. I can also work out in the morning when Sam takes a nap. I'm finding all sorts of pluses to working a later shift. I am only sad about getting less time with AJ and missing out on bedtime with Sam, (I LOVE to give him baths, I will just have to make the most out of the nights I have off.) And like I said, this was just like when he worked at Checker and we made it work then, we are just going to have to make a conscious effort to spend time together and we agreed that every other Sunday night we will have a date night just the two of us, (as long as we have willing baby sitters, lol.) And we'll still get Wednesday mornings together too. Not to mention that he is a night owl, and while I don't want him staying up all night with me, he usually goes to bed around midnight, so we'll still get a little time together when I get off work.

Next time around I am hoping for an early shift, like 5 am to 2 pm, and I don't see why that won't happen, the only reason I didn't get a better choice this time around is because I was pregnant and in all of my third trimester I couldn't remember anything, so my Call Resolution Time was about 1,000 seconds per call. (Which is pretty horrible as the goal is 850 seconds.) I know it was because I was pregnant too cause since I've been back my CRT has been about 700 seconds. Unfortunately CRT is major points so I lost out on a lot. But like I said, should only 6 months till I get to change shifts again!

12 weeks old!

Another week has gone by and my sweet boy is already 12 weeks. I can't believe how fast it's all going, you know everyone tells you that it goes by in the blink of an eye and already I can see the truth in that statement!

Sam is going through another growth spurt I think, he's getting to the point where he wants to eat more than 5 oz in one sitting! There are times when I feed him and he finishes the bottle and looks at me like, "Where's the rest?" So I've put away all the 4 oz bottles and I bought some bigger bottles, if he does well on 6 oz then I will put the rest of the 5 oz bottles away. He's also started using medium flow nipples, this kid! I just bought some slow flow nipples and literally overnight he started wanting the faster flow, lol.

Sam is such a morning person, when he gets up in the morning, he is always so happy and smiley, I love it! I get to sit here and make him smile for me all morning, lol. He also rolled over the other night, I don't think it was a real roll over, I think he just got to moving and shaking and somehow ended up on his stomach, with how wiggly this kid is I'm not suprised, he's just like his Daddy, always gotta be moving, like a fart in a skillet, lol!

Things are not all peachy though, his eczema seems to be getting worse, and I'm starting to think that's part of why he wakes up at night, cause he's trying to scratch, it would explain why he's always moving around the crib... I bought some hydrocortozone cream like the Dr said and some Aveeno oatmeal bath and I'm going to try it out for a few days, if it still doesn't seem to help, then I'm going to call the Dr and see if we can get him something stronger.

Other than that, things are going good, everyone who watches him tells me that he's always really good for them. Which I like to hear, I already feel bad since I'm depending on so many people to watch him while I'm at work at least it's good to know that he's not a total terror when he's with them. I really wish I could drop some time off my shifts at work, but my job pretty much won't do it without either a medical reason or maybe if I was going to school. So right now I'm going to try to get a really early shift to reduce the time everyone else has him. I'm looking at a 4:50 am to 1:20 pm Tues-Sat shift. AJ would drop him off in the mornings around 7:30 and then I would pick him up at 1:45, I don't know whether that will become a reality and I won't know until next week, but that would be nice.

The trouble with "what if's"

 I am exhausted, not having a full night's sleep for the last 12 weeks, is starting to take its toll on me... Not that I mind getting up with Sam at night when he is hungry, I just wish he would go back to sleep right away when I put him back down instead of fighting it for 30+ minutes. I know this is probably just a new mom thing, but I'm ready for the day when I feel like I don't have to check him every five minutes to make sure he's breathing, these Dr's and books, and classes have pounded into me all the ways a baby can suffocate in their sleep and now I'm terrified and paranoid about every little thing, I know that Sam would probably sleep better and longer if I were able to put him to sleep on his tummy, but I just can't bring myself to do it when I'm not awake to make sure he's okay. I've contemplated getting a moniter with a movement sensor to give me some peace of mind, then I could put him on his stomach and the moniter would alarm if he hasn't breathed in 20 seconds... but that just makes me seem overbearing right? A part of me feels like maybe I'm part of the reason he hasn't slept through the night yet, since I'm constantly going in there to check on him and make sure he's okay. (I usually just peek in the room, andhe never wakes up when I do that, but still.) I just wish that I could relax and not have all the "What if's" running rampant through my head!

11 Weeks old!!!

Gosh, 11 weeks have already gone by, Sam is getting so big! He's moving out of 0-3 month clothes and getting into 3-6 month clothes already, and just in the last few weeks he's started going through a growth spurt. It really depends on the time of day, but he's starting to eat between 5 and 6 oz so I think he's going through a growth sprut. I can't believe that he's growing so much already...

Still not sleeping through the night, but I'm giving up on that one for a while, I figure that when he's ready he will sleep through the night... I'll just have to be tired for a while, lol. He's also starting to figure out that he can choose his own sleeping position, I put him to bed the last few nights and he immediately rolled over on his side before passing out, lol. I don't care how he sleeps, whatever is more comfortable for him is fine with me.

Other than that, not much else going on this week, we got his 3 month pictures done, so cute in his little hat. Next week we're getting family pictures done with AJ's family, can't wait, I'm sure they will turn out great!

2 Month Dr Appointment!

Today we had Sam's two month appointment, he did really well and Dr. Leubbert says he's a really healthy boy, he did confirm that he has some mild eczema and to just keep using the baby Aveeno for his skin and he should be fine. I forgot to ask about the rice cereal, but I called the nurse about it later and they said it would be okay for me to put a little in his night-time bottles. He is a big boy and weighs 11 lbs 13 oz and he's 25 inches long, he's in the 50th percentile for weight and the 93rd percentile for height! So he's a long baby! He did get his first shots today and he did pretty good, he was pissed for the first five minutes but once he calmed down he was fine again. He's doing pretty good now, but I got some baby tylenol just in case he starts to feel bad later. All in all it was a great appointment and everything is looking great for him right now!

10 Weeks!

AHHH my Sam is getting so big, I just can't believe it's been 10 weeks since he was born. It feels like just yesterday, and he has changed so much in those 10 weeks, it's just amazing. He can now hold his head up about 90% of the time and he usually holds it up for like 3-5 minutes before he gets too tired. He's also at the point where he wants to stand all the time, all I have to do is put a little bit of pressure on his feet and he just pushes back, it's so cute!

Another thing he has started doing lately is sucking on his hands, I don't think it's going to become a habit, I really just think it's because he found his hands and just loves to taste them and use them now. It makes me laugh cause he's so enthusiastic about it.

Not much else going on right now, I'm back at work and it's going okay, though he is going to be so spoiled by all these people who love on him while I'm at work. I am just so happy that I have family who is willing and loves to watch him. They don't even know how much I appreciate it!

Back to Work!

Well it has been two days since I have been back at work, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I really miss my little man, but it has been nice to get out of the house and have some adult time. I realized yesterday that this is something that I can do and will be better for us in the long run, not just financially but for several reasons... It will give AJ some time to bond with Sam and form a strong relationship, which is really good for them both. It will give Sam a chance to bond with the rest of the family too since he will be with family on the days AJ and I are working. I think it will make me a better Mom too, I get to go to work and be with other adults and then when my shift ends, I'm so excited to get home and be with my son, and I think that makes me put in about 150% of my effort and time. I just wish that I could cut my schedule by like 8 hours, that would be ideal, but I don't know whether I will be able to do that without a medical reason. So I am looking at a 4 am shift right now, I know that it is early, but it is a ten hour shift, (not sure what the days would be yet, and that might be a deal breaker.) so I would be working 4 am -3 pm and that means I'll get 3 days off a week and be off by midafternoon so I still get to spend lots of time with Sam, I figure I will be able to get him on a schedule where he takes a nap from like 4-5 so that I can get a little sleep and we'll be awake when AJ get home. I'm not sure about it yet though, I'm going to see what 5 am and 6 am shifts are available before I make any decisions, and we won't know the shifts for a few weeks.

All in all it hasn't been too bad being at work. Of course I'd love to be home with Sam, but since I have to be here, I'm making the best of the situation. Now I just have to be a little impatient until my shift ends.

9 weeks old! Or 2 months and 1 day!

My little man is getting so big! I've really enjoyed this last week with him. Only 3 more days till I have to wake up and go back to work. :-( Well I guess life had to come back and make things real again, lol. It's okay though, I am sad about going back but starting to get excited too, I get to see all my co-workers again and not only that, but I get to give AJ his time with Sam too. Sunday is officially the day I'm going back, yesterday was supposed to be it, but things happened and it got pushed off till Sunday. I'm glad for the extra few days, and plus it sort of makes it a little easier to know that the first day he is without me AJ has him. Going back to work is going to be a good thing, not just monetarily, but it will also be good for me as a Mother I think. Though I would love to give Sam 100% of my love and attention, I think that working will help me not to take him for granted and I will make the most out of the time I have with him. It will allow me to get some adult time and also allow AJ to get to know his son on a one on one level and that will be great for their relationship. I just wish I could work like 3 or 4 days a week instead of 5... I am going try and see about getting on a ten hour shift, I probably won't be able to until shift bid, but we'll see.

In other news, Sam is thriving! He is smiling more and more every day, he smiles at everybody now, all you have to do is sit and talk to him and he'll grin for you... I also think he is close to laughing, a few times I thought he had but I'm not sure. It's almost like he wants to laugh but he can't figure out how to make the sound. He'll breathe real fast like he's trying to laugh with this huge grin on his face, but no sound comes out, it's cute.

Still no progress on the sleeping through the night home front. My Mom thinks we should try rice cereal, I'm going to ask his Pedi at the next appointment on Thursday. He does seem like he's hungry all the time, I feel like I'm feeding him constantly. I've tried giving him more in one sitting, but it's like he gets distracted and will eat a few ounces then about 20 mins later be hungry again. His naps I've kind of given up on forcing him to take a nap at a certain time, his bouncy chair is my friend though because when he does fall asleep I put him down in that and he sleeps just fine. I'm hoping he starts sleeping through the night soon. These next three days I've got to at least practice the whole getting ready in the morning thing before work so I'm not struggling on Sunday. We'll see how it goes though.

All in all, he's a happy happy baby. I love my little family so very very much!

8 Weeks Old!

Well Sam is 8 weeks old... A month old on Tuesday... Things this week have been bittersweet, the reality of going back to work is really starting to hit me, and whenever I think about it I get teary eyed... The only consolation about going back to work is that I know that I'm leaving him in the hands of people who I know care about him and so I know he will be taken care of and loved.

Sam's doing really really great developmentally, he smiles at me constantly now, sometimes when I'm up with him at night I will talk to him and he just has to stop every once in a while to give me a huge grin, lol. He also is starting to respond to me when I make funny faces and noises at him. Before he would look at me like I'm stupid (he still does sometimes, lol.) But now he will give me smiles and sometimes it looks like he really wants to laugh. He's also cooing a lot more now and he talks to me constantly, and he holds his own head up about 90% of the time now, so carrying him is a lot easier.

The rough part of this week is that it seems he's taken a step back when it comes to naptime. He used to go down for about 3 hours a day around 3 pm. Well I tried moving his nap time up a little, but he just won't have it, and now I can't seem to get him back on the old schedule! So I'm back to square one trying to figure out naps.

All in all I'm living on borrowed time right now, so I'm trying to enjoy every second I get, so even though he doesn't seem to want to nap for me anymore, it's okay, I get to spend that much more time with him!

7 Weeks Old!

Well the last week has been pretty great, I was able to capture one of Sam's smiles on camera! And just in time for Nana's birthday, he cooperated so well with me when he smiled! His smiles are much more frequent now, though they aren't consistent yet and it takes a ton of work to get him to smile. But I don't care, I'll do as much work as I need to to get that grin on his face!

We went apple picking on Sunday and that was really fun. We went with Sarah and Lance and the girls and it was so cool to be able to start doing those things with Sam. He seemed like he had a lot of fun, even though he obviously isn't big enough to pick the apples yet. Daddy held him while they picked the apples. It is going to become a tradition and something we do every year so next year when we go he will actually be picking them himself, I can't wait for that!

We also found out yesterday that my sister Heather is expecting a boy, I think it's so neat that they will be close in age, and I'm sure they will get into lots of trouble together. Sam and Jake and now Jude too. Michelle doesn't know what she is having just yet, but boy or girl, he or she will get in on the fun too. I just remember having a blast with my cousins when I was a kid, and he already loves Maddy and Ali, and I know they love him too. I am so lucky that I have a wonderful family on both sides and that we are all close. Sam will grow up playing and having fun with all his cousins!

Sam's really focusing on things now and AJ found out that he likes a lot of movement and color yesterday when he sat him in his bouncy seat in front of the tv and Sam sat and watched tv for 15 minutes without making a peep, lol. Then today I put on Sword in the Stone and he watched about 30 minutes of it before he started fussing. Obviously I'm not going to use the TV as a baby sitter, but it is nice to know that I can put him in front of it for a little while, so we eat dinner or something like that.

He is still doing pretty good at nap time and bed time and he consistently goes down for a nap every day now and naps for a good two or three hours. It is nice to be able to get some stuff done during that time. Today we are working on a few things though. I'm trying to work on getting him to finish a bottle in one sitting instead of over the course of a few hours. He's such a grazer and that's frustrating since it feels like I'm feeding him constantly, so I'm trying to break him of that habit. In working on his grazing problem, I am also trying to work on getting him to take a binky. Today he did pretty good and I fed him at 8:30 and in the interest of waiting till he was hungry enough to eat in one sitting I gave him the binky at 11:30 when he started acting hungry. He finally took it, but not for more than a few minutes at a time, he kept spitting it out, but by the time 12:30 came around he had taken it and kept in in his mouth for a good 20 minutes. (Yay!) Then I gave him a 5 oz bottle (usually he takes a 4 oz bottle.) It took him an hour to eat the whole thing, but I'm glad he ate it all. I'm going to work on this for the next few days and hopefully by the time I go back to work he'll be more consistent with all of this. Next thing I'm working on is sleeping through the night. I am trying to get his feedings on a schedule so that he eats a 5 oz bottle by 9:00 pm, since I did that last night, and I realized that he wasn't even hungry when he woke up at 1:00 am, so he ate 1 oz and went right back to sleep. At 5:00 am I was able to get him to finish all 4 oz in 15 minutes, so tonight when he gets up at one or two I'm going to give him the binky instead of his bottle and hope that he goes back to sleep.

In other news I found out my return to work date is actually 9/21 instead of 9/17, so I have a couple of extra days that I thought I didn't have. I have to go to the Dr's office sometime and get a return to work release, then I can bring it to my work and get everything started on going back. I am probably going to handle that tomorrow. Then the countdown starts as I only have a few precious days left at home with my sweet little boy so I'm going to try and make the most out of them!

Getting Easier!

Well things have started to get easier and we are slowly but surely getting into somewhat of a routine. It's not rock solid yet, but most days we are sticking with it. The last two days have been really great, Sam has started learning how to soothe himself and how to know when naptime is and when bedtime is. I put him down the last three days while he was still awake (barely, but he was still awake.) and within 30 minutes he had put himself to sleep. He's apparently likes to be swaddled, because once I started doing that, things fell into place pretty quickly, (he's my little burrito.) Once I swaddle him up and turn his lullabye's on, he starts to get droopy eyed immediately. He hasn't started sleeping through the whole night yet, but according to my books he technically does sleep through the night, since they define that as a 5 hr stretch of sleeping, and he usually sleeps from about 9:00 pm-2:00 am and then from 2:30 am-6:30 am then from 6:30 am-8:00 am. It is nice that he is sleeping more now, I just wish he wasn't such a noisy sleeper, lol, he talks in his sleep and makes noises all night so trying to train my body not to wake up unless it's an actual cry, not just a whimper, is rough. But all in all things are going really great and it's all getting a little easier. I'm definitely learning at least!

Six Weeks Old Today!

Well it has officially been six weeks since my little man came into this world. I can't believe how fast the time is going now that he is here... officially I have two weeks till my return to work date. I am a little excited about going back to work, but I'm extremely sad at the same time. I will be happy to get some adult time where I'm interacting with other adults, but I really don't want to leave my little man...

In anticipation of going back to work, AJ and I went car shopping and got a new car, we bought a 2007 Chevy Impala, I really didn't want to have to go to a car, since I prefer an SUV, but since I will have to be driving Sam out to Falcon twice a week for a little while, the gas in the Yukon just wasn't going to work. I would have ended up with 2x the gas bill!! So this Impala is actually pretty sweet, I love it! It's a bigger car so it's very comfortable and the trunk is roomy enough for us to get groceries in it. Plus our payments went down a little bit. All in all it was a great deal, a newer car with a lot less miles on it and better gas mileage.

Sam has been thriving and he's doing so great, unfortunately still not sleeping through the night technically, though he does have some good nights. So I think we are getting there, slowly but surely. He's also starting to look at his hands and cooing a lot more now, I love it when he talks to me! I also have been getting lots and lots of smiles so I'm hoping that he'll start to smile at everyone else soon too. His head control is also really awesome and he can hold his own head up for at least 30 seconds but probably more. He's just doing soo good! I can't wait till his well baby check up to see how much he's grown!

Other than that, not much going on, Fall is in the air, though the temperatures aren't showing it, I can just feel it though, I'm excited because I have a ton of cute clothes for Sam to wear, but he's so hot blooded, that I don't want to put him in them until the weather cools down a little bit. Fall is my favorite time of year and this year will be a whole new experience for me since I have a little one. I'm sooo excited, this year really marks the year of big changes for us, and every year from now on is going to be more and more fun. I get to take Sam apple picking and pumpkin picking and dress him up for Halloween, and who knows, he may even be able to eat a little bit of Thanksgiving dinner if he is allowed to eat other types of food at that point, and by Christmas he's going to be at the age where he'll be fascinated by the Christmas lights and be able to play with toys a little more... ohh this year is going to be so fun!

5 Weeks Old Today

Gosh, 5 weeks have alreday gone by... this is going too fricken fast!! My little boy is starting to do so many things lately, he's found his tounge and loves to stick it out at me, and I think he's finding his hands too, he was sitting in his bouncy seat the other day just staring at his hand like "What is this thing?" It was adorable.

This week has been a little rough on us though, it started with him having green poop  and bad gas for a while and so we switched him to soy formula, the soy formula so far hasn't done much but we are thinking that his  little body is just getting used to it. He got a little constipated and so he's been extremely fussy and cranky some days... but the Dr told us to give him some Karo syrup with his formula and we are hoping that he passes this and is good after that.

I did get one reward this week when I got my first smile the other day. Of course I cried! Other than that, not much else going on this week. We are putting him in his own room for the first time tonight and I am nervous as hell. But I just have this feeling like it's time. It will be easier on me and AJ since I will not have to worry about turning lights on or anything like that and I won't have to worry about being quiet. Plus for the past few days he's slept in there extremely soundly during his naps, so I know he will be fine. But of course first time Mom, I am nervous. We will see how it goes though and I will update my FB with how the night went.

Other than that, things are going great. I love my little man and I feel like I'm fighting time before I have to go back to work... only 3 weeks left to enjoy as much time as I can with him...

4 weeks old

Well today Sam is officially four weeks old. He will be one month old on Saturday. I can't believe that this time has gone by so fast already and I feel like my return to work date is just rushing at me! I am not ready to go back to work and in four weeks I doubt I will be ready yet... but I know that I need to help provide for my family and pull my own weight too, I've just so enjoyed being able to spend so much time with my little man... the only thing that makes going back to work a little easier is that I have family helping to watch Sam, so I know that he will be in good hands.

In the last four weeks he has changed sooo much, he is starting to pay more attention to his surroundings and focus more on the things and people around him. I'm so anxious for that first smile... Another thing that makes life easier is that he is officially off of the oxygen. I cried when they called and told me that, and even though we were out at the store, the first thing I did when I got off the phone is take that stupid thing off his face. He is definitely happier now and taking him places is no longer the hassle that it once was. I'm just a tad nervous at night when he's going to sleep but I say a little prayer (after checking his breathing about 20 times.) asking God to watch over him through the night... it helps me sleep easier. I'm not sure yet, but if at the end of the week I'm feeling more comfortable and we don't seem to have any issues, I'm thinking of putting him in his own bedroom... though I want to ease him into it, so I think I'm going to try putting him in there for naps first so he can get used to the big bed instead of his bassinette. I'm going to start this tomorrow and see how he does...

We also got his first set of pictures taken today and he was absolutely ADORABLE and awake the whole time which I am happy about. I haven't gotten access to the online webpage yet but when I do I'll make sure to post them on Facebook.

Other than that, not much else going on, we're just one happy happy family and I am absolutely loving my new role as Mommy.

Three Weeks and 2 days old!

I can't believe it's been three weeks already, it feels like just yesterday that I was pregnant, and now I have this sweet little boy who's just become the light of my life... I am going to be a complete wreck when I go back to work. Even just leaving him with AJ's mom for a few hours the other day made me sad and I started missing him after about 15 minutes, I even started crying in the car when I told AJ that I missed him, lol.  It just really sucks that in this day and age you pretty much have to have a two income household to make ends meet.

My little Sam is such a bright little boy already, he really has started becoming much more aware the last week. He really is focusing on people and objects. I first noticed that he was watching the ceiling fan the other day and then whenever I talk to him he just looks and looks at my face like he understands everything I am saying... and then it was so awesome my Mom was holding him and his cousin Aiden came up to say hi, and Sam turned his whole head over to where Aiden was so that he could see who was there. That was just amazing to me! He's already grown and developed so much in the last three weeks, I can't believe how much he's changed... now I'm just ready for his first real smile.

Other than that, not much else going on this week, we did the pulse ox test yesterday and he did much better than last time. There was about 30 minutes where he sort of stayed in the 90-92 range, but for most of the night he was around 94-97. So I am hoping he passes though we won't know till Monday, since the Dr's office didn't get the results from the test faxed until later in the day today.

I've got 4 weeks and 4 days till I go back to work, so I'm trying to enjoy every second of it.

Two Weeks Old (and two days, lol)

I realize this blog is a little late, unfortunately though it's much harder to find the time to do this kind of thing now that I have a little one to take care of. But I do want to keep it up since I know a lot of people like to keep up with me this way.

So two weeks have already gone by and I can't believe it. Already my little man has changed sooo much. He's already got a little personality and I love it, though he seems to have inherited the stubborness and impatience from us, so he can sometimes be a challenge.  But that's okay, because he makes up for it with how calm he is most of the time, he is just impatient when he's hungry and stubborn about going to bed. He also seems to be a morning person right now, he wakes up around 8:30 and just sits there kicking his legs and arms around and talking to me for a few hours, it's my favorite time of day!

Unfortunately we are on the oxygen for another week. We did the overnight test on Wednesday night, and Sam stayed above the 90 mark for his pulse ox, but was just hanging around 91, and Dr. Leubbert wants him to be consistently above the 92 mark for his pulse ox, so next week we get to do it again, and the Dr seems to think that he should be off of the oxygen by then, but we will see. I just don't want to take him off till he's ready, I know the first night that oxygen is gone that I probably won't get much sleep since I'll be checking on him all night.

We also got to meet cousin Jake today and he is also so adorable. You can definitley see the size difference, but Brook is also a smaller girl than I am and look at Sam's daddy! It's in Sam's genes to be a big guy. Obviously they didn't really do much today because they are so small right now, but I can't wait till they are both bigger and can play with each other, I'm sure they will have tons of fun together.

Other than that I am about 95% better now, I'm still a little sore, but for the most part, I am feeling way better, tired a lot but what new Mom isn't? The important thing is that I love my new job as Mommy, my little guy is really the light of my life now, and I love him so much!

One Week Old Today!

Well today officially marks the first week of my little one's life. It has been such a roller coaster I can't believe the week has already gone by... Things are going pretty well right now and I am adjusting to being a new Mommy okay. There is definitley a learning curve to this Mommy business though and I'm starting to realize that there are some trial and error when it comes to this stuff.

Sam is doing great right now, though he is still on the oxygen, we're hoping that by this time next week he no longer needs it. An oxygen therapist came by yesterday and they were able to turn his level down a notch and he's going to come by next week and do a longer test, if Sam passes that test then we will be doing an overnight test and they will leave the pulse ox machine to do that. We've got our fingers crossed that he passes that. As far as his jaundice, he is all better from that and no longer needs to be on phototherapy, we are thrilled about that since the phototherapy blanket they gave us was extremely cumbersome, and now at least we can put him in pajama's for bed.

Breastfeeding isn't going so well and I've made the decision that I probably won't continue after the first month. He just was given a bottle automatically in the NICU and because of that he doesn't think of the breast as food, and he gets extremely frustrated every time I try and feed him from it, and then I get frustrated, and it just isn't conducive to a stressfree environment... I truly feel that had he not gone to the NICU and been bottle fed that we wouldn't be having these issues. I do however want him to be able to get the best of it, so I am still pumping my breast milk and giving it to him in a bottle, he does pretty well with that and we don't get stressed out either. I'm just doing what's best for me and my baby.

Other than that, things are just going extremely well right now, AJ is making a great Dad and is helping me out SO much around the house, I couldn't ask for a better husband, he has been a big help in keeping everything neat and organized for me. I just love watching him with Sam, it is the sweetest thing ever and once Sam starts to get bigger I can't wait to see how AJ will be... I really did get so lucky when I found AJ, he was so supportive during the pregnancy and just absolutely great during my labor and how he stayed with Sam the whole time after he was born even when I couldn't. Having Sam has just increased my love for him times about a million, I thought I loved him before, but it is nothing compared to how much I love him now.... it's like that Brad Paisley song, every new event that happens in our lives just makes me realize all over again how much I love my husband.

Well anyways, I better get going, it's almost time for a feeding!

Introducing Samuel Andrew Caldwell

Well as most of you know, at least those of you who pay attention to my facebook, my little munchkin and bundle of joy was born on Wednesday July 21, 2010 at 11:13 pm. It has been a roller coaster of emotions for the last week, but I am so glad to be home. I'm sure you're all wanting to know what happened, so here goes.

Things really started on Monday afternoon when I started to feel weird... I felt very different so I assumed that this was it and it was baby time, AJ and I went to the hospital, only to be told that I was only 1 cm dialated and that it wasn't time yet. We were both pretty disappointed, but my contractions went away shortly after that, so the hospital made a pretty good call. Wednesday morning however, I woke up at about 4 am with the worst pains and I thought that it was time, but I waited it out till about 11 am before telling AJ I thought we should head to the hospital. We got there and they checked me and once again I was only 1 cm dialated, so we walked... during that walk, my pain increased 10 fold and I fel like I was going to die! But when we got back, I was only 1.5 cm dialated, it was SO frustrating and they decided to send me home again... AJ was pretty upset about that, but there wasn't anything we could do. This was at about 1:00 pm, we got home I tried to nap, but nothing was helping and the pain was getting worse, especially in my back... these contractions would just centre right in my lower back and it was the most horrible pain I have ever felt... by about 3:30, I started feeling pressure, and in the interest of NOT having him at home, we headed back to the hospital. This time I was about 3 CM dialated, the nurse we had knew that I was in labor and didn't want to send me home, even though the policy was 4 CM, so she had me get into the jacuzzi tub and relax for a little while... we did this for about an hour, though  there wasn't a lot of relaxation, I was able to doze between contractions, and when we got back to the triage area, I was FINALLY 4 CM dialated and the hospital admitted me.

We got taken to the birthing room at around 5 pm and I was finally given the best present ever, the epidural... I honestly don't know how women can labor without one, the pain was so intense and horrible that I would have passed out had I not been given the epi... anyways, after getting the epidural, I was doing great and Dr. Lerch broke my water. We found out at that point that Sam had decided to take a little restroom break inside and there was merconium in the amniotic fluid... the Dr didn't seem to worried, but I know that I was concerned... but basically the Dr said they just had to suction his nose and mouth before he took his first breath. About two hours later I had dialated all the way and it was time to push! While I was pushing I found out why the pain had been so horrible, it was because Sam had decided to turn the wrong way and the hardest part of his head was facing my back instead of my front which is how it's supposed to be. But I was able to push him out and after the Dr suctioned his nose and mouth I heard the most beautiful sound in my lifer when he started to cry... it was amazing, of course I started crying and then they laid him on my tummy and I was able to see his sweet little face for the first time... it was the best moment of my entire life.... but also the scariest as they had to take him to the NICU after that for a little Oxygen because he was having a little trouble breathing. While they took him to the NICU my Dr stiched me up and I found out I had a 3rd degree tear, which is pretty horrible let me tell you, I'm just really glad it wasn't a 4th degree tear. After all the stiching was done it was time to switch rooms and they were going to have me try and use the restroom... apparently I lost too much blood and almost passed out on the toilet, the nurse had to pretty much shove epsom salt up my nose to get me to come back. So unfortunately I couldn't see my little Sam until the next day because they wanted me back in bed at that point.

Sam had to spend 48 hours in the NICU before being released and then again he isn't fully released yet, he is still on a little oxygen and he has a billi bed, which is because he's a little jaundiced, so we are trying to get him all better. We are hoping that he is no longer on all this stuff by the time next week comes around. The first few days home have been exhausting, it is very frustrating that I can't pick him up and take him wherever I want to... we are tied down by that oxygen tank so much. And breast feeding is very very frustrating, since he had to go to the NICU he was automatically given bottles, so because he is used to that he is now lazy when it comes to breast feeding. I'm trying to have an open mind about this though and I told AJ that if he doesn't get the hang of it by the end of the month that we're just going to formula, no need to stress myself and the baby out when there are other alternatives.

Well anyway, today is the first day that I am starting to feel human again and I'm hearing my little man stirring in the next room, so I'll leave this here... I just gotta say that I am completely in love with him, I have never truly known love until now. :-)