Mama Love

Lately I can't help but notice how wonderful my little Sam has become... He's so sweet, polite (for a 1 year old,) and crazy and just plain fun... I thought I would take a minute to list all the things I love about him lately.

1. He can now recognize when Daddy is home from work. He'll sit and listen to the garage door open and then once he hears AJ car beep he'll look at me and say: "Daddy!"

2. He has started blowing me kisses and can pucker up his lips for a kiss, which he gives me frequently now.

3. When I rock him to bed at night he has started listening to the books I read and wanting to turn the pages... he gets upset when it's time for bed and we have to put the books away, he already loves to read.

4. After we put our books away, I usually sing him a few songs. He now sings twinkle, twinkle, little star back at me. (And also randomly throughout the day he sings it as well.)

5. Sometimes he'll be running around the living room and just randomly stop, bend over and talk to me through his legs, he thinks this is hilarious.

6. Right before bedtime he gets a burst of energy and spends 30 minutes running around the living room, jumping and stomping his feet and he thinks everything is funny. This is one of my favorite times of day.

7. One of his favorite words is thank you, and he says it about 90% of the time after you give him something.

8. He's got a blanket obsession, but not with one specific blanket, just blankets in general, we have a few blankets in the living room and he will walk around with as many as he can hold. I find this adorable.

Lately I just find myself in awe of how much I love him and how much he means to me. He is one of the best little things that has ever happened to me and I love him more and more each and every day. I knew being a mom would be one of the best things I've ever done with my life, I just didn't know how much fun it would be.

Stay at home mom vs. Working mom

First let me just say that I have nothing but respect for people who stay at home with their kids all day. In fact I'm immensley jealous of those people....

I'm a little frustrated this morning, there was a news article online that incensed me a little bit... Basically it talked about all the things a stay at home mom deals with... as if those of us who have to work don't deal with all the same things on a daily basis. So I just want to clear a few things up.

-Yes I work a full time job, not by choice, if I could stay home with my children all day and be able to afford it I would do it in a heartbeat... not because it's easier than working, but so that I could be with my kids as much as possible.
-Even though I do work a full time job, I still deal with all the every day aspects of motherhood.When I come home from work it's not all sunshine and roses. I still deal with poopy diapers, runny noses, temper tantrums, not being able to go pee by myself anymore, as well as all the wonderful smiles and kisses and hugs.
-I'm not saying that stay at home moms don't work hard. But do not tell me that I don't work just as hard as you. When I go to work (at 5 am.) I deal not just with whiney toddlers, I deal with whiney adults.Whiney toddlers can't help it. Whiney adults can, they just choose not to, and toddlers can't be assholes.
-When I get home from work, I go into full Mommy mode, which means playing peek a boo and patty cake, and chasing around my 1 year old.
-I do not have a maid, not only do I work a full-time job, but then I come home, play with my baby and hopefully have time to clean my house a little bit too.
-Unfortunately since I do work, that means I have to try and be everything to everyone. I have mom responsibilities, spouse responsibilities and work responsibilities, coming to work doesn't mean I get to have a fun day of chitchatting with adults and that it gives me a break from my child. That is completely oposite of the real situation.
-Every day that I come to work, I have to deal with the guilt of leaving my child with someone else. Now don't get me wrong, I am one of the immensly lucky working Mom's in that I at least have family who love him staying with him throughout the day. But it doesn't change the fact that my heart breaks a little every time I have to leave him and he's crying and reaching for me.
-Yes, I do enjoy a little adult time and intellectual stimulation, but coming to work isn't what gives me that. Talking to my spouse, my family and my friends is what gives me that. (Also playing words with friends, lol.)

So in conclusion, I just want all the stay at home mom's out there to know how lucky they really are. You get the privelege of staying home with your children every day and never missing a moment or milestone. I already feel guilty enough that I don't get to spend more time with my son, please don't make me feel worse by saying that I don't do everything that every good Mom does.

13 Week Update!

How far along?: 13 Weeks
How big is baby?: 2.9 inches, .81 oz
Food cravings?: Any vegetables, not really a fan of fried foods at all right now.
What I'm looking forward to: I'm looking forward to the Gender ultrasound, and to Sam really understanding what's going on right now.
Milestone: Baby is past the point of greatest risk now... this is the last week of the first trimester!
Sleep?: Eh, some nights I get more than others, it just depends on how I'm feeling.
Best moment this week?: When I finally started feeling better. It's not constant now, but I don't get nauseous all the time.
Movement?: None yet so far
Belly button in or out?: In
Feelings this week?: Sad, when I was pregnant with Sam, I enjoyed it SOO much, every little thing was just awe inspiring and amazing, even the days when I was sick. This time around, I have been through it once before, it doesn't have that same awe, especially since I pretty much just went through this not very long ago... so being sick all the time and everything so far... I'm really not enjoying it nearly as much. Hopefully if i start feeling better then I will start to enjoy it again.

12 Weeks Update

How far along?:  12 Weeks
How big is baby?: 2 inches long and about .5 ounces.

Food cravings?:  Nothing, I have no appetite lately!
What I'm looking forward to: I'm looking forward to this morning sickness being gone, I'm so tired of feeling nauseous all the time and being so exhausted. I'm feeling like a very bad Mommy right now because I feel so sick all the time and I know Sam isn't getting the attention he deserves from me. :-( I'm really ready for this sickness to be done with so I can play with my little boy again.
Milestone: Most all the baby's systems are fully formed and functional, not it's just beefing things up over the next 28 weeks until the baby is born.
Maternity clothes?: Yes. I am a lot bigger this time around then I was last time. I'm making do with the pants I have, but I've got a lot of my jeans unbuttoned and held together with a pony tail until I can get new pants.
Stretch marks?: None from the pregnancy, just old ones.
Sleep?:  Ha, what is that??? I sleep, but not very well. Mostly because I have a tension headache the just won't go away.
Best moment this week?: Seeing the baby on the ultrasound moving and jumping and twisting around. Kinda weird to see it moving but not being able to feel it.
Movement?: I don't think so.
Belly button in or out?: In
Feelings this week?: Mixed. I am super happy about this baby and excited to be a Mommy again, but I'm feeling a lot of Mommy guilt. I really wish I had more time to spend with Sam until I had another baby. Obviously the universe has a different plan for us and that's ok. But sometimes I still just feel guilty that I'll have to split my attention so soon when #2 comes along.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, sickness.

So thought I would take a few minutes to update everybody on how things have been and are going!

Halloween this year was a little rough on me, I really wanted to be able to take Sam out trick or treating, but I was so sick at the time it would have just made me worse. The kids all had croup a week or so before and of course I got the adult version of it.  AJ was able to take him around the block wih his cousin's though and I know he enjoyed it. Hopefully next year I will be able to take him out. I don't know that he really liked having to wear his costume though, lol.

The rest of fall was pretty uneventful. Sam got sick again the week before Thanksgiving with pinkeye and then a sinus/ear infection. We were able to curb the pinkeye pretty quickly with some eye drops, which let me tell you are a bitch to give to a toddler. We had to take him to the Dr like five times just to get the ear infection diagnosed and get him on antibiotics for it. Thank God for my mother-in-law who was able to take him to the Dr so I didn't have to miss work. Once he was on the antibiotics for a few days he started acting a lot better and just in time for Thanksgiving.

I want to say that Thanksgiving was wonderful, but of course I caught what Sam had plus having morning sickness made the day pretty sucky for me. Everyone else had fun though and enjoyed themselves and really the food was pretty good, I just couldn't eat as much of it as I wanted. We ended up having to leave earlier than we would've liked to because I had a fever and was just being a sick lump on the couch. After we got home Sam and I were able to nap for a few hours and finally break my fever which helped me feel better just in time to put our Christmas decorations up, and of course my wonderful husband put up the outside decorations while we were napping.

All in all this fall was not what I expected it to be, a lot of us being sick, so far AJ hasn't caught anything yet, and I really think the only reason I have is because I'm pregnant and my immune system isn't as strong as it normally would be. Here's hoping we can get through December without any yucky sicknesses!

Our Family is Growing!

Since I announced it on my FB I thought I would share here a little bit about what's going on with us...

On October 6, 2011 I took a pregnancy test, fully expecting it to be negative for serveral reasons, first and foremost because I was on birth control and had been for the last few months. Secondly, because even if I wasn't on birth control, it took months and months, with a side of medication to get pregnant with Sam, and thirdly, because we weren't even thinking about having another baby anytime soon. Lo and behold, 3 minutes later, I was looking at a positive pregnancy test... needless to say I pretty much freaked out, took about 5 more tests just to be sure, then called AJ...

A few days later I was finally accepting that we were going to be parents again a lot sooner than we expected. We were happy and even starting to get excited. I had an OB appointment on Oct. 13, we had a little bit of a scare at that point, they did an ultrasound and couldn't see anything, and I had started spotting... as we weren't sure when I had gotten pregnant, we were thinking that maybe it wasn't meant to be and that things would just go back to the original plan... So we spent a little over a week in limbo, I had blood drawn every few days and then finally on Oct. 21, I had an ultrasound. We weren't sure what to expect at the ultrasound, but as soon as we started we saw our new little bean right away, got to hear the heart beat (128 BPM) and this new adventure started!

We were apprehensive at first, but now we are so happy and excited. My estimated due date is around June 9th, so another Summer baby... we should find out the sex in January. Sam has no idea what is going on, but I'm going to enjoy the next few months with just us until the new one comes. My next appointment is on November 23rd, hopefully we'll get another ultrasound!

Here's a few recent pictures of Sam, he's getting so big and so fricken cute!

Busy, busy summer!

I know I have been a super slacker the last few months. But we've had so much going on it's been hard to find the time to sit down and write an entry! So let me take a few minutes to fill you in.

May:

In May we celebrated Mother's day, it was such a fun day. I know Mother's day is supposed to be about people celebrating you for being a Mommy, but to me it was more about celebrating the sweet little person who made me a Mom.

Sam also figured out how to use a straw this month, which helped us out when we went on vacation in June. We also started our first garden this month, we planted zucchini, crookneck squash, tomatoes, peppers, and pumpkins.

Unfortunately this month was also marred by sadness, AJ's grandfather passed away on May 10, he was a great man, and everyone who knew him feels the loss.

JUNE

Sam started walking this month. Just a few steps here and there at first, but it didn't take him long to get the hang of walking and quickly transitioned into full out running. This was also the month of one of the greatest vacations ever!

We went to Disneyland which the kids loved and then headed up the coast to San Fransisco. Disneyland was so much fun, all the rides and seeing all the characters, it made me feel like a kid again. Even though it was incredibly hot and there were waaaaaay too many people there, I enjoyed myself. Loved the rollercoasters, and all the fun rides, it's just too bad that there were so many people there that the lines were ridiculous. I think we all would have enjoyed it more if we hadn't spent half the day waiting in line for things.

The drive up the coast was amazing though, Hwy 1 has the most beautiful views. It's very twisty and turny, but those views are hard to come by. We also got to see the elephant seals on the beach during the 17 Mile drive... it's amazing to see something like that in real life, not in a zoo or captive situation either.

San Fransisco was just lovely. I would never live there but I completely fell in love with that city. I don't even know what it was about it either. The smell of sourdough in the air or the fresh crab sandwiches, or all the little shops and the live entertainment that littered the sidewalks throughout the whole place.... It is just an amazing place, the golden gate bridge is wonderful in person and when you go to Muir Woods, you feel so tiny in that forest full of giants and Alcatraz is a place with so much history... Even the people didn't bother me even though it was nearly as crowded as Disneyland.  I just know that one day when we can afford it, (so probably years and years from now, lol) AJ and I will definitely be going back there.

JULY

My garden started producing this month and I got to experience for the first time the joy of having a garden and what it gives you... Going to grocery store now is slightly depressing as the produce is not nearly as tasty looking and is probably full of all sorts of chemicals!

It was also Sam's first birthday this month, such a bittersweet time, on one hand I am happy that he is growing and healthy and love experiencing all the new things he can do and watching him discover all of those things. On the other hand I am sad to see my teeny tiny little baby turn into this big walking, jumping, dancing toddler. We spent his birthday together as a family, we went to the zoo in the morning and had dinner at Red Robin, then on Sunday we had a birthday party for him. It was great to get everyone together to celebrate, and Sam absolutely loved it.  

AUGUST

Things finally started slowing down a little. We didn't do much this month except relax and tend to our garden, which is now huge and producing new vegetables every few days.

Sam is playing with all of his balls, (the 1000 that we have, lol.) And he's getting to be so big, he talks a lot now, and can say: Momma, Dadda, Nana, Papaw, Poppa, Cracker, Cookie, Uh-Oh, and Ball, especially ball, lol. There a few others I think he's trying to say, but I can't be sure.

So that's our busy summer, I am going to try and keep up a little bit better and post more often. I can't believe it's already September and we're going into fall, the best, best time of the year!!